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Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 3/12/2009 12:44:53 AM
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ArticlePost
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Parenting your own children is difficult enough even under the best of circumstances; however, trying to raise the children of your spouse or partner from a previous marriage or relationship is a trial by error task at best. With more and more marriages ending in divorce, the blended family is quick
Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof
http://articles.familylobby.com/434-Blended-Families:-Merging-Two-Families-Under-One-Roof.htm
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 3/12/2009 12:44:53 AM
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ArticlePost
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wow tell me about it.this is my life.i have 3 stepchildren and 3 of my own.two of which are from a previous marriage. we have been married for 7 years and are still having poblems with his 2 children. it has really put a major wall between my husband & i. we try our best to deal with them but the toll of fighting with them has caused us to think about divorce.this is a big problem and we have even been through conseling nothing works...they want us to get a divorce so they keep pushing. we do try to work together but sometimes it is difficult there is alot of taking kids sides.this is a very hard thing to do. everyone tells me they don't know how i do it.but i don't know how i do it myself sometimes. it gets harder everyday. all i can say is take your tim before you rush into this!!!
suzieq
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 3/12/2009 8:53:15 AM
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ChristineB
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My boyfriend and I are raising his 3 year old grandson. We love having him and he teaches us something new every single day!
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 8/3/2009 1:48:05 PM
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ArticlePost
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uh, hellllooooo Chrintine B... The article is about two families (each with kids) blending together, not you and your "boyfriend" (not even married) playing house with 1 (count 'em, ONE) baby... that is a far cry different from having multiple children from different parents living together.. especially when they pass the "Aaaaaawwww, how cuuute!" stage and move into the "Mom, I know what to do stage!" - oh but wait, that other kid over there, who isnt even her own brother, is breaking her toys and making a mess - "Mom!!!,,, do something"! but then there's "hey!, dont tell me that my kid that he's acting out, he's only 6, and boys will be boys! - look at your kid first..." (whew) Live with that for a while (try a few years) and get married to, then get back to us and tell us what wonderful new things you are learning everyday (how cliche'). Thanks!
ceencee
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 8/31/2009 10:30:46 PM
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ArticlePost
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Though a little bit agressive, Ceencee's comment is a hard truth concerning blended families. The conflict that can arise between partners that love eachother and have set out with the best of intentions, is sometimes enough to cause major dispare and thoughts of quitting my new family and role. I often think about the struggle it is for my 4 y.o. daughter, moving into her stepfather's house with all of his kids and our new baby, and the guilt can bring me to tears. The guilt that she is loosing, that we are loosing, on the days when it doesn't feel like we have gained anything but more laundry and noise. I often wish I had done a little research before jumping in.... Like a google search on blended families!Don't want to scare or seem negative, but definately think 'er through!
Seraph
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 9/1/2009 10:26:47 AM
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fishman
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We often jokingly say, “You don’t get a manual on how to parent kids.” But each adult in a blended family brings a set of ideas about parenting with them, in addition to their own prior experiences. This often makes for a very complex situation, and it’s one of the reasons why parents in a blended family can get stuck in some disappointing and frustrating cycles of behavior. Look at it this way: there are so many different points of view and aspects to this relationship that it can naturally be very confusing for everyone. The children also have different experiences and perceptions of the parent-child relationship—and because of the very fact that they are children, they will not surrender those ideas easily. Remember, the secret to having a blended family is having blended adults. The kids just have a responsibility to live with each other respectfully and to respect the other parent.
Read more of this article here: “My Blended Family Won’t Blend—Help!” Part I: How You and Your Spouse Can Get on the Same Page
< Message edited by fishman -- 9/1/2009 10:27:26 AM >
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 9/20/2009 5:13:31 PM
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ArticlePost
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Wow I’m not alone… I’ve been married for four so far. I came in the marriage with four children by two different fathers. My husband entered this marriage with three children, by three different mothers. In the beginning my husband seemed to take care of any problem before I even knew there was even an issue. My children have a wonderful relationship with my husband, and we are a happy, united, well balanced family when his kids are not here.Now the issue is with me, my children and his kids. Any interaction that I have to have with his children is just dreaded at this point. My husband only has his kids every other weekend, so most people would think I have it easy, but that is far from the truth. It almost seems like as time goes on things continue to get worse rather than better. His oldest primarily lives with mother and she is the one that allows him the freedom that supports his behavior. My issue with his oldest son which is now 15 years old is that he has managed to get two different girls (cousins) pregnant; he has an 8 month old daughter, and one on the way. He is a sophomore in high school has horrible grades, doesn’t support his first child, and continues to do absolutely nothing with his life. He is full of lies. He lie’s to both of his parents about anything everything, and gets away with everything. This child is the one that has put the majority of the strain on our relationship. I get so angry with my husband, because he doesn’t do anything but support his son’s bad behavior to say the least. I am just sick of it.His second son is 14 years old and only comes over every other Saturday. He is very distant from everyone except his father and his two brothers.His youngest son is 11 and easily lead by his brothers and what ever is their behavior at moment. I have tried over and over again to speak to my husband about things, and it seems like he understands my points when we are talking, but then the next time something happens he reacts completely opposite.I am tired of his children coming in between our relationship every other weekend, we fight half way threw the week. Get everything back on track in time for his children to come over again.I love my husband with my whole heart, but I don’t know how much more I can take, or how many more grandkids I can handle at my current age of 30. SOOOO seriously, think about things before you decide to blend families.
Erica Ponder
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RE: Blended Families: Merging Two Families Under One Roof - 11/1/2009 4:47:12 PM
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ArticlePost
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I need help! Im dating a very nice man. He has a 17 year old son that lives with his mother as of recently. I have 3 girls. 17,14, and trailing behind is the 5 year old. It's not the kids that seem to be the problem. It's the ex wife that he was married to for a very short time 15 years ago. We have talk about me moving in with him with my girls. Every one in a little nervious but excited to. We made our desision to merge our families at the 1st of the year. Just a few days ago his ex called him to tell him he needed to keep their son at the first of the year for 3 weeks. She going to be leaving for out of town. I cant help but think she planned her trip for that time frame because we were moving down. I can't ask my girls to make this move get used to a new home and school. plus all the day to day of getting to know each other with his son sleeping on the couch while my daughter now has "his" room from when he did live there. What do I do. I don't want to put it to him as it's either his son or us. Thats not right. But i don't want to put off our life together because of his ex either. She'll just keep doing things like that. Now what????
Leah
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