Teen Visitation Issue

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Teen Visitation Issue - 12/7/2008 4:22:37 PM

mist4pat

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/7/2008
Status: offline

I'd like to get some advice on teen visitation.

I've been divorced for 14 years and have a 15 y/o daughter that has been going back and fourth from her mother and I for this entire time. I get 7 weeks a year, 2 of which are Christmas vacation...the only holiday we spend together. I knew that as she got older her friends would take priority over dad and I'm ok with that. Her mother recently called me and told me that she was talking to my daughter and "they" decided that she should stay with her mother for the holidays and instead of coming to see me, my wife and her sister. I've bent and bent and have allowed changes in visitation over the last 14 years to accomodate her and her mother but I'm consistently losing more and more time. Due to the distance we are from each other I can only afford so many airline tickets.

I'd like to know if anyone is dealing with this and if you are how do you handle it. I don't want to allow our only chance of forming any kind of family traditions and our time together to continue to get less and less. I know my daughter may think I'm the worse thing in the world but I think as she gets older she will be happy that we didn't give up on her. I foresee more and more of this in the future if I allow it to start!

Help!!

Post #: 1

RE: Teen Visitation Issue - 12/7/2008 9:48:27 PM

dianerene

Posts: 1680
Joined: 10/31/2006
Location: sunny so cal, usa
Status: offline

ouch! that stinks!!

we are a blended family here as well, and went through similar issues. my husband and his ex wife did not make any of the decisions between them ... the discussions were always between my step son and his parents. HE was the only one to approach the subject of not being involved in family vacations, holidays, etc.
I think he was about the same age the first time he asked not to be included on our summer vacation trip. He called his dad and told him that the vacation would take place during an event he really wanted to attend. He and his dad talked about it for a couple of weeks before we finally made the reservations without him. He was a bit bummed - I think he figured we would cancel the entire trip since he didn't want to go, but it was his decision and my husband made sure it was what his son wanted.

I think it would be a good idea to call your daughter and ask her about it. IS there a particular event she will be missing? is it what SHE wants? or what she is being asked to do?? maybe a compromise can be made? let her know that you understand the growing importance of friends at this age, but that family time is important too and you and your side of the family enjoy the time you get to spend with her.

If you feel that you are indeed getting the short end of the stick on a regular basis, you can always take it up in the courts ... but it sounds like you really don't WANT to go that route.

I know how difficult it can be, I hope you work something out!

_____________________________

♥ diane

(in reply to mist4pat)

Post #: 2

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