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She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/12/2009 12:18:42 PM   
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Marriage is meant to be between two people. Of course everyone realizes that dealings with children, in-laws, and assorted relatives are par for any marriage course. We learn to deal with everyone as well as we can.

She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife
http://articles.familylobby.com/557-She-Won’t-Leave-Him-Alone!-Coping-With-the-Ex-Wife.htm
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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/12/2009 12:18:42 PM   
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Amen to that I have to deal with a harassing ex-wife consistently every week. She loves to remind us that child support is coming up due even thought we are never late and that we have until the 15th of the month before it is considered late on top of that she does not abide by the custodial agreements and moves them to appease her and work for her.

Amen

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/27/2009 12:45:15 PM   
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I wish my case was just as cutand dry....My husband wlecomes communication from his ex-wife. And they don't have any children and were only married for 2 years. Even after I have expressed my feelings. He does not see the harm incommunicating with her. I often wonder " Why am I even here"

Wondering

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 6/30/2009 5:07:48 AM   
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My wife was physically & emotionally abused by her ex-husband. Yet she allows him to continue his abuse even though they haven’t been married for 3yrs. She allows him to harass her. He calls her at all hours. He calls her at least twenty times a day and that’s just the calls that I know about. He comes over to our house and just makes himself at home. He walks through our house like he owns it. He talks to her like she’s a piece of dirt. When ever I say anything, I’m told that I shouldn’t because they have kids together. How much of this am I suppose to take. I have been here and put up with a lot but am tired of seeing her and the kids abused.

for the love of God

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 7/3/2009 12:36:59 PM   
fiery


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

My wife was physically & emotionally abused by her ex-husband. Yet she allows him to continue his abuse even though they haven’t been married for 3yrs. She allows him to harass her. He calls her at all hours. He calls her at least twenty times a day and that’s just the calls that I know about. He comes over to our house and just makes himself at home. He walks through our house like he owns it. He talks to her like she’s a piece of dirt. When ever I say anything, I’m told that I shouldn’t because they have kids together. How much of this am I suppose to take. I have been here and put up with a lot but am tired of seeing her and the kids abused.

for the love of God


Just because they have kids together doesn't mean it's good for them to see him treating her in such a way. What does that teach them about what's acceptable in relationships? Would she like it if her kids ended up in similar ones later in life because they thought that was the way it should be?

Maybe if you approached it from that angle she would be more prepared to listen. You must be a saint to allow him in your home. If he wants to see the kids, he could come get them and take them elsewhere surely for whatever time they spend together.

Sometimes people like him so erode a person's self confidence that they find it very hard to break from them entirely. Perhaps your wife would consider some kind of counseling for the sake of your own relationship or find some support online to build her own self esteem back up? Do you feel something like that would help? He sounds horrible.



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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 7/15/2009 7:54:43 PM   
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file harassment charges on all these jealous ex wives

new wife

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 8/2/2009 8:23:02 PM   
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It all reads well but talking to the man I live with did no good. His response was he will talk to who pleases and when he pleases, after 10 years of living together she calls at least 3 times a day or more or he calls her. the kids are 20 and 26. I have tired everthing nothing works. The only thing I have not done is leave.

Tiff

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 8/11/2009 7:31:57 PM   
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same problem as Tiff, Kids around 33 but they have to talk several times a week.I.m also not invited to family functions.He says its for the kids sake.noname

noname

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 9/22/2009 3:37:27 AM   
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His ex wife was abusive. And she put him through one hell of a custody battle. Now, after every thing has cooled down and court is over with (finally) she wants to make it up to him or something, she calls and texts him all the time! O my god it drives me nuts..she hates me!She Will not acknowledge me whatsoever and she is trying so hard to get him back in her life. It makes me sick and makes me mad all at the same time! He would be a fool to go back into that relationship but when I read the texts she sends him I just wonder what she says to him when I am not around. I worry that he might go back to her because of their son together..he reminds me every day of how much he loves me and would never do ANYTHING to jeopordize our relationship, i believe him, i love him but I do not trust her.

nonono

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 9/27/2009 12:33:27 PM   
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I seriously doubt that the welfare of any pet should take priority over a new marriage partner. ex needs to keep contact business like and should only be in touch for that business. Children are the ONLY exception, except for being in touch in life or death situations. an EX is an EX. That means they go away.

Shannon

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 10/13/2009 9:49:38 PM   
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I am only new to the world of the ex-wife drama. My partner and I have only been together for 6 months, and I am finding it incredibly difficult so far. I knew it would not be an easy road, but I just cannot get over the vindictiveness of this particular woman. She calls and or messages at least 20-30 times a day, and sometimes extremely late at night. I cannot tell you how many times we have been woken up at midnight to the phone ringing, thinking that something must be wrong, all her her to come out with something minor like "I know it's late, but would you mind coming over in the morning and fixing my tv?"!! My partner is great, shows me most messages, most of which he just deletes without replying to...or at least tells me about the incessant amount of calls or texts...but I cannot really get my head around why. They have been divorced for almost 3 years...and I would say that perhaps 1 out of the 20 contacts made per day have anything to do with their 5 year old son. I don't like to say anything, because I don't want to sound controlling or nasty myself, but I would love to know how to cope better. We have even delayed my meeting of my partners son because of her erratic behaviour. I love him dearly, but worry about what sort of future I am in for. Does it ever calm down??

Struggling

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 10/17/2009 4:47:14 AM   
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Does it ever come down? It depends if you (or your partner) let her have control over you and your household. My husband's ex use to call all the time too. Even when my husband told her not to call unless it was an emergency. She was a habitual line-stepper. I would turn the ringer off, but my husband use to get upset because "what if" it's an emergency. So, I decided to try this approach instead...I went and bought an answering machine and I programmed the message so long that majority of people who called would hang up. I mean make it REAL long... If it's an emergency, they will wait and leave a message. Eventually, she will get tired of waiting on that long ass voice recording to finish. Make it real long like this post I just typed. I know it may sound a bit immature, but it worked like a charm for me. I could hear my husband's ex huffing and puffing on the phone until she finally gives up and hangs up before the voice recording is finish. Every single time she calls, do not pick up. Let the machine get it every single time. Don't let him talk into the machine because she may be obsessed and is calling just to hear his voice. You do the recording. Trust, she will be sick inside hearing your voice every single time.

not the one to play with

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 11/3/2009 10:35:05 PM   
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my husband's ex used to call ALL THE TIME, call for stupid stuff, like to put a new tire on her car or tags, a few different times she asked him to WORK FOR HER in her ice cream truck!lol. it was such a stressor on our marriage i left him a few times because he would constantly let her cross the line. when we didn't have a car she would take him and his son places, or talking to her on the phone outside every time she called! not to long ago i got burnt on it and told him that he should not talk to her at all to get her harassing behavior to stop once and for all, he did his best and now things are a lot better, we still have problems with her now and then. Example: his daughters 18th b-day is next week, she wants us to drive 2and a half hours to spend it with her when we are planning our own birthday party for her down here, this is why divorce is difficult for everyone. To all those new spouses, draw a dark, undeniable line, let your new spouse know what you will tolerate. Also what is acceptable, there is a difference between communicating on their children's behalf and obsession! The first year is the hardest, don't let it get the best of you and remember they love you (enforce it or leave em if they don't like it).

he's getting the point

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 11/8/2009 5:47:47 AM   
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I am a new wife as well. My husband's kids are single and in their 20s. Sometimes I feel ike I am part of a polygmaist clan. My husbands talks to his ex on the phone or they email each other often. Soem kids concerns yes- but much of it is small things like where to find a bargain at a store. His family had little contact with her during the years they were divorced and now the ex is contacting them and visiting them once we got married. I got married later in life. All those friends/people who knew me when I was single would never have described me as an overreactor or jealous. I feel so second class. IT is not about sharing; it is about boundaries and respect. Next week my husband is installing a light at her house. Two months ago he fixed her garage. I can't even write thsi response without my eyes tearing up. This siutation hurts me so much. I feel so alone.

strugglingtoo

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 11/9/2009 9:53:14 PM   
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My ex will never send anything nice.......ever! I raise his son and all I ever get is a slap in the face. He does nothing to support our child's problems such as ADD, Dysgraphia, and Asperger's.I can just deal with that.

sick of sick oh

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 11/11/2009 3:57:44 PM   
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The witch as I like to refer to her, has been trying to come between me and my husband for the last 2 and half years, although it is not as bad as in the beginning she still causes the odd problems! The witch had an affair broke up the marriage after 13 years together, they had 3 boys together ages 13, 10 and 6! The beginning was terrible, the first few months you are suppose to be all lovely dovey were just arguments, she tried the old faithful, turn the kids against us, get the kids to say they wouldn't come to the house if i was there. Our first christmas together she runied by not letting chris speak to the boys and then whne I finally lost my cool and grabbed the phone off him after her constant calling on xmas day because she wanted him to spend xmas with her and the boys and not me, I screamed for her to leave us alone, she then said he had been in bed with her etc etc (all total lies) this was just the start, police were called she had a warning, it never stopped though, she became a constant pain in our lifes. Although it was really bad in the first 18 months, it has calmed down she has apparantly got a nice rich boyfriend now, so lets hope this is the end of her annoying us. We have just moved house, have a new number and she is not getting it, she has his mobile number to call if its anything to do with picking the kids up and that is it! To all you girlfriend/wifes having problems with the dreaded ex, put you foot down from day one dont let them get away with it, it is harrasment and if you partner sees know problem with calls emails etc from the ex then there is a problem, just think would he put up with it if you had an ex husband calling to speak to you all the time.. I think not!!

claire

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/26/2010 6:15:37 PM   
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My live in of 5 years has an ex-wife we have nicknamed Hitler. But here is our twist: they had NO kids (she didn't want) together and SHE is the one who left him to go live with her mom 8 YEARS prior to me meeting him. They saw each other five days a year. The day comes when she "finds out" about my relationship with Him and she wants him back-- but he is like NO WAY and she then financially rapes him in a divorce (very much his fault too for not fighting). She emails, calls, texts constantly and I truly believe she has had a private investigator follow me. She plants these seeds in his head that I am a liar and HE BELIEVES HER!! She has this CONTROL over him. I am a Christian, PHD-education, etc. She has never worked-- living off his money. How do I get her to LEAVE US ALONE!?!?!?!?!

Up to Here in Ohio

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/27/2010 9:21:08 PM   
fiery


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Welcome to Family Lobby, Up Here in Ohio. While she sounds totally unreasonable, the glaringly obvious truth is that your biggest problem isn't her. It's him believing her! You could talk to a lawyer about getting restraining order against her if you had his support. You could also block her emails and calls by reporting her for harassment to your service providers and go to the police about her because that's very close to stalking. They don't have kids so why the need for contact at all? Does he like having her in his life still or is there something that she has hanging over his head he's not told you about?

The big questions you need to ask him is why he believes her over you and why he's done nothing to cut the communication to a minimum. There has to be trust as a foundation of your relationship. She can only control him as much as he allows her to do so with calls, emails, etc.

Don't answer the emails. Hang up. Try and get him to go to counseling for couples. And look closer to home for the resolution of this. Good luck and take care. 

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 1/31/2010 2:54:59 PM   
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All of you ladies out there dealing with the "not able to let go ex" I totally feel your pains. I am dating a guy for almost 3 years now. His ex and him have 3 kids. All young so this will go on for a long long time. She calls about all kind of stupid crap. Not just kid calls. It is about fights her and her sister get in. Her and her bf troubles. Her mom and her fighting. I mean car wont start will you help me get it started. He goes says cause says his kids use that car to be driven around in. He will listen to her cause doesnt want to be rude and start fights with her. I dont know how much more of this I can put up with. I mean I think it is good they get along for kids sake but I feel that she is taking this to a level that it shouldnt be taken too. I dont know what to think whta to do. He tells me he loves me and doesnt love her and doesnt know if he ever really loved her. I personally think he does still love her cause if he didnt he wouldnt run to her and he would put up some boundaries. Dont ya think?

not2 shabby

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RE: She Won’t Leave Him Alone! Coping With the Ex-Wife - 7/4/2010 7:55:26 PM   
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I'M just over 60 my x wife is 61, we got a divorced in 1996, she helped pay half for the divorce . my x-wife comes to my place every day for a coffee we shop together she pays for her stuff and i pay for mine we are good friends . i cannot understand how a divorce makes two people get so angry over things , so many fights over money and so many things in life .what people keep forgetting is we own nothing into this life we sure are not taking it with us when we die ,.Greed will put a person into a early grave .its best to cool down take that long walk in a day or so you would look back and you will have a better answer, life , marrage , lie detector test before marrage could save two soul's some cases men cheat and women cheat put it this way if a raddle snake bites you once it will do it again . living alone can be great do some volunteering . I just love being a Kiwanian in Duncan B.c. Things only get better when you want that that to happen ,I was a single parent i Know what I:M talking about.Good Luck everyone .

Don Mac Kay

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