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ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

No matter how much you want to be a peacekeeper, DON'T!!! There is a difference between peacekeeper and a peacemaker. When their ex has a personality disorder get her away from your spouse, children and yourself no matter what, keep your foot down. Do not let youself be fooled by the kindness act and that you can be "friends" and that she is only around because it's more peaceful for the children. In reality that is actually the worst option, because the children will always have a false hope their parents will reunite, even if involved in a new realtionship. Be cordial and polite for the children, that is all! Nothing more and nothing less. If this makes the children furious let it, because they already are. No matter how they try to convince you otherwise. Remember, she is their mother and that is who they will ultimately side with even when they know she is wrong. Especially, if she has children convinced their father had affairs and abused her and that is why she had to leave their marriage. They will never see the truth. That she wouldn't work at caring of her family and spent money excessively. As the wife and stepmom it is a responsibility to be the peacemaker. Expecting your husband to cut her out of his life when their are children involved is a near impossible task for him, out of fear of loosing them and that children need their mother. Especially, when she constantly utilizes the children to manipulate in her favor. This is a weapon she will always utilize. Either your husband will be grateful or despise your actions. If he doesn't want the conflict? Then you need to accept that his children are first in his life at any cost and the ex will always have the upper hand because of his love for his children. In this situation run for your life. Unfortunately, my husband and I allowed her to be a part of the family in the pretence of being peacekeepers. Unfortunatly, when my husband deceased is when I realized this ex was playing games all along. At the funeral this ex wife absolutely disrespected my griefing and loss, she actually was flaunting around funeral trying to draw attention to herself as the griefing party. She has herself, her friends and their children beleiving that he always wanted her back and in reality it was her that wanted him back! I had so many of his family and friends questioning her presence. I realized that this ex was out to make sure he would never have a new happy life. This exwife was making such a mochary of his memory by convincing herself that he always wanted her and they had children together. Stand up for your marriage even if the stepchildren despise you because they are going to anyway no matter what you do, down deep inside they always want Mom and Dad together, even if it had been years since divorce. The new wife will always be viewed as the other women and it will always be your fault their parents aren't together. I see now that my husband was desperate for a relationship with his children and just couldn't put his ex in her place. We had tried and she would always come back begging forgiveness for her actions and as peacekeepers we fell for her tactics. Since, his passing all the special moments she stole from us and still after his death trying to live as she is the griefing widow through (you guessed it) her children. In griefing for my spouse, I have woke up to her. After all these years, but now it's to late to defend our marriage and the stepchildren don't even consider my situation. So, there it is all the sacrifices we made for peace.

Smurfette

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ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

I have been married to my husband for 2 years and his ex will not leave us alone. We met online and she sends emails and calls all day. i have changed my number 6 times in the last 6 months, yes having it unlisted.She wants him back, they have a 3 yr old daughter, I am ready to walk away!!<br><br>hedaches

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Cyberstalking. Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet, email or other electronic communications to stalk, and generally refers to a pattern of threatening or malicious behaviors. Cyberstalking may be considered the most dangerous of the three types of Internet harassment, based on a posing credible threat of harm. Sanctions range from misdemeanors to felonies.

Cyberharassment. Cyberharassment differs from cyberstalking in that it is generally defined as not involving a credible threat. Cyberharassment usually pertains to threatening or harassing email messages, instant messages, or to blog entries or websites dedicated solely to tormenting an individual. Some states approach cyberharrassment by including language addressing electronic communications in general harassment statutes, while others have created stand-alone cyberharassment statutes.

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ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

I am going through this same thing right now and am trying to be patient, but it is driving me crazy at times. My husband's ex-wife called him yesterday and talked for and hour about her health problems. I have no issue with her calling to discuss the kids or financial issues such as child support or splitting costs of things for the kids, but when she just wants to talk to him about her personal stuff it really bothers me. She is remarried. Isnt that what her new husband is for? She is the one that initiated the divorce, but cant seem to let go now five years later. We've been married for one year and I am really hoping this will get better as time goes on. My husband doesnt really like the calls, but doesnt want to be rude to her and create a hostile situation which will effect the kids. She is very spiteful if she doesnt get her way. Can someone please tell me how to make this situation better?????<br><br>lisab

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ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

My husband's ex constantly emails him calling me ugly names and asking questions about our lives. She also emails him with dumb questions. They have 2 adult children and he has told her that unless it involves them, dont contact him, but she still does. I am at my wits end and want it to stop!<br><br>Stephanie