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RE: Parents and Children - 9/27/2009 12:25:38 PM
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fiery
Posts: 5730
Joined: 11/4/2007
Location: in front of my computer
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Phew, that's a big question. :) For any relationship to work, it needs the following things: trust, communication, awareness of personal boundaries, respect for oneself and each other and (when it comes to family ones), love.
As parents we have to be prepared to accept we don't know everything. We get it wrong sometimes. I think rather than rigidity, we need to be fluid on occasion. Boundaries should be set and solid the majority of the time otherwise the child has no confidence in them. However you do need to allow for exceptional circumstances occurring when the boundaries don't make sense because we can't cover all the bases all the time. Finding the middle ground between a friendship and imposing your terms as you put it : that's where you want to be. Because either alone will cause resentment at either the lack of guidance if you want to be their buddy or the stifling nature of it if you can't take their own feelings into consideration too. My Dad loved to say that you're under my house and my rules. I think that's fair enough as long as you still give them room to grow and find themselves in a safe environment.
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RE: Parents and Children - 9/29/2009 1:44:41 PM
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dianerene
Posts: 2105
Joined: 10/31/2006
Location: sunny so cal, usa
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very well said, Kay!
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RE: Parents and Children - 10/1/2009 2:16:29 PM
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fiery
Posts: 5730
Joined: 11/4/2007
Location: in front of my computer
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Thank you, thank you very much.  And of course I should also have said each to their own. We all just do what we find works best to have a happy home.
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