Parents and Children (Full Version)

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green1706 -> Parents and Children (9/27/2009 3:43:24 AM)

What is the ideal relationship between parents and children? This relationship should be more severe, parents imposing their terms automatically, or should it be a friendship? In the latter case, if the child benefit from parents' indulgence and do something stupid? I know that the situation varies from case to case, but I speak in general. My husband and I get ready to be parents again, we want to adopt for the first time, and therefore we want more opinions. So, what do you think?

[;)]



fiery -> RE: Parents and Children (9/27/2009 12:25:38 PM)

Phew, that's a big question. :) For any relationship to work, it needs the following things: trust, communication, awareness of personal boundaries, respect for oneself and each other and (when it comes to family ones), love.

As parents we have to be prepared to accept we don't know everything. We get it wrong sometimes. I think rather than rigidity, we need to be fluid on occasion. Boundaries should be set and solid the majority of the time otherwise the child has no confidence in them. However you do need to allow for exceptional circumstances occurring when the boundaries don't make sense because we can't cover all the bases all the time. Finding the middle ground between a friendship and imposing your terms as you put it : that's where you want to be. Because either alone will cause resentment at either the lack of guidance if you want to be their buddy or the stifling nature of it if you can't take their own feelings into consideration too. My Dad loved to say that you're under my house and my rules. I think that's fair enough as long as you still give them room to grow and find themselves in a safe environment.



dianerene -> RE: Parents and Children (9/29/2009 1:44:41 PM)

very well said, Kay!



fiery -> RE: Parents and Children (10/1/2009 2:16:29 PM)

Thank you, thank you very much. [:D] And of course I should also have said each to their own. We all just do what we find works best to have a happy home. 



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