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fiery -> RE: thought for the day (1/22/2010 7:49:26 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dianerene
she only wants to apply online, she doesn't want to get in someone's face and say "hey, I'm looking for work, can you hire me?" I understand that most places have gone to filling out apps online, but to me it only reinforces why we have such a lacking of people skills these days. kids don't know how to count out change, they are rude, no smile on their faces, customer service totally sucks. it really means something when you have to go in and REALLY apply and interview for a job. the way you present yourself and communicate your thoughts goes a long way with me.
she doesn't want to apply at fast food chains unless she has to (and I can kind of see where she is coming from). I want her to get a job where she can grow - she will need insurance in a few years when ours no longer covers her and there is no time like now to start planning. but everything she does has to be pushed. she has no resume because all she has done is school - no work experience at all. so I have to remind her to get online to update the apps she has already put in, I have to tell her to make phone calls, I have to push her to practice driving the darn car even! she has a permit but won't drive unless she is told to and I am done driving her to school, then back to pick her up - it's 60 miles rountrip and I make it 6 times a week!
I'm done catering to the girl. I thought I was doing right by allowing her to focus only on school and soccer ... but that was back when she talked of wanting a scholarship. we got her to the right people and then she failed to do any of the work towards getting them to look at her. now she is going to a junior college and playing soccer, which in a way I am okay with, but honestly I think it is another way to avoid growing up and taking responsibility. I really wish a great job would pop up and she would forget about school and soccer just so I can see her do something besides sleep all day and veg out.
part of it is, I know, that when I was her age I had a child already, I had a full time job with benefits, and I was taking classes 3 nights a week towards by certificate in drug counseling. I knew where I wanted to be and how I was going to get there. this girl has no idea what she wants to do with her life and she fights any time we ask her to make plans. I'm just done with the lack of motivation.
Here's the difference as I see it. You had the motivation of having to provide for yourself and your daughter from that day onwards until whenever she left home in the future. You had to grow up, plan and take action fast. She doesn't have that same sense of urgency because she's only got herself to think about. That's why she lacks motivation. She doesn't see any need to rush because she knows she'll always have you to fall back on and all the comforts of living at home, whether she's working or not. Is that a fair assessment?
I totally understand where you're coming from about people skills btw. It's something my own son struggles with. Of course some of his is part of his AS but not all of it. They just don't want to be put in uncomfortable situations but heck, if they find asking about jobs hard, how will they cope with the pressure of an interview or customers or co-workers? I tell him it's just part of life that you have to learn how to deal with things that are outside of your comfort zone and the only way you get to be more comfortable doing that is by experiencing them. No way you can get around that.
Half the kids our local store employs I wouldn't have let step over the threshold if I'd been in HR because they don't care, have no idea about the basics of customer service nor a work ethic. Don't get me started LOL.
I was like you too and had responsibilities at a young age - I was married by 19, working full time, had a mortgage etc. I look at my son and think "why aren't you interested in what you're going to do with the rest of your life?! " It's amazing. But then I don't know anyone that has kids that are heading into young adulthood who doesn't say the same thing about theirs too.
Maybe it's a generational thing and that's just how they are now. Hubby tells me all the time when I moan about kids in stores that things are different now and not so strict. If companies don't expect better standards, shame on them. It makes life darn hard for us when we tell them they need to be a cut above the rest and go that extra mile to get the job when they see another teen picking their fingernails behind a counter that's got one.
Mine does work online and is doing well with that, so I'm leaving him be right now. See, I don't mind so much when I know he's trying. If he's trying and still getting nowhere, and I genuinely believe he's doing his best, I don't feel I can gripe. It's when he's not even trying and still wanting to spend all his time online goofing off or sleeping I get mad. I feel your pain, truly I do. [:)]
I guess all you can do now is what normally gets done with the young 'uns. Start taking away privileges that cost money like the computer and phone until she can find a way to contribute to their costs. She's a smart girl and well presented. I've no doubt somebody would snap her up in a heartbeat if they had a vacancy she could fit into. But they're not going to knock on her door and ask her. I think she'd find her motivation soon enough if you began taking things away.
She could also be calling family and asking them to keep an ear open for her for any openings.
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