RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [News] >> Family Issues



Message

ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (1/3/2011 3:51:10 PM)

to the woman who spoke about God- get a grip lady!

misty



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (1/20/2011 3:27:05 PM)

Wounded, How did you get your wife to even talk with you again? I made a similar mistake, nothing ever happened no meeting, and no feelings on my end, but now life is the lowest I could ever imagine. I love my family and would never intentionally risk it, My thoughts process was wrong and stupid, I know that. I just want to rebuild and regain that trust and keep my family. I love them with all my heart. The last thing I EVER would want to do is injure or hurt any of them.

Stupidman



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (3/5/2011 10:25:32 AM)

Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 yrs, and I found out last summer he had been talking to other girls online in for almost 2 yrs. We have been trying to work things out, but then he started doing it again. How could anyone doing this put on a smile everday even though they know thier partner will be destroyed emotionally when they find out?

broken



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (3/9/2011 1:00:57 PM)

I caught my husband talking to 2 different girls on instant msgner yesterday. We got in to and he started with the Im not happy, I think we been together to long crap. Iv asked him not to have instant msgr. on his phone and he says he swears on everything he wont put it back on there. But what made me so mad not only him talking to other girls, is that he told one he loved her and the other he wishes she was here. We are gonna try to work things out for each other and our to very young daughters. I just dont think I can give all my trust again, because this is his 2nd time cheating. The first was physical. this time its not but it still hurts just as babd.

frustrated wife



ChristineB -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (3/10/2011 8:02:32 AM)

HI frustrated wife. That is a sad situation for sure. I would say if you two still have love for each other to get counseling and quick, especially because there are children involved.

The internet age has certainly made other people more accessible, however, trustworthy people still don't do it.

We're here if you need to vent...



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (4/4/2011 2:31:58 PM)

My 42 yr-old Navy husband was away in another state due to job transfer and he didn't seem to make very much effort to have our little girls and myself out there with him. Six months after being out there, he began to open a secret Facebook account under an alias name and began to friend a couple of girls in their young 20's. I found out a stored username password when I got on his laptop (of which I bought for him for his birthday and Christmas) one day when he was home for Christmas. He swore up and down that he never had any conversations with these girls other than just to play social Farmville games with them. He went to the extent of denying ever remembering friending these young girls. They have been on this secret account for about 2 months by this time. It still hurts me very much today because I still feel that he was trying to cheat on me (or maybe he has already, I just don't have any other proof than finding out about this secret account). To my husband, he doesn't think that he's cheated?Am I just over reacting and is my husband right? I have a very challenging time trusting him more so lately. How else can I find out if he's really is cheating on me?

painnsorrow



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (4/15/2011 4:46:24 PM)

My husband did this. Over a period of 4 years, I caught him 4 times. Always there was a promise of "I'll stop". We got counseling. He would stop for awhile, And then he would go back. After losing trust and respect, and having my heart ripped out over 4 years with continuing betrayls and lies to my face, we recently ended our marriage of 20 years. It is very sad to lose everything for something like this. Don't hang on and keep giving them another chance. Get out now before your heart bleeds.HeartHeavyinDenver

Darlene



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (4/28/2011 8:06:38 PM)

What if the wife has no desire to be with her husband. Sure she want his pay check and free rent but she is never there for him emotionally or physically. **** it man has needs and if you women wont be there then yes, we will find some one who will. Is it worth ruining your kids life because your wifes not interested anymore - i say hell no!! but i'll be ****ed if i waste my life waiting for her. Just felt like someone should tell the other side of the story. there are always 2 sides to every story and not every man/woman is doing it for selfish reasons.

joe plummer



fiery -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (4/30/2011 9:54:07 PM)

Joe: have you both ever considered finding out exactly why she's not there for you emotionally or physically anymore? I mean could she be depressed or something? Has she seen a dr? Have you both or either of you tried counseling? What does she say when you ask her why she's so unhappy?

You're not fooling your kids, btw, if you think they can't tell things aren't right. Kids feel the tension. Why don't you just make a clean break of it?

And please remember this is a family friendly forum. Use appropriate language please. 



ChristineB -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (5/2/2011 12:20:24 PM)

I agree. Find out what the issue is. You can't guess or assume anything. I also agree about the kids. They will feel the tension and make their own assumptions....which are typically worse than the truth.

Get to the truth or get out.



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (5/17/2011 11:28:01 AM)

I have just know (2 hours ago) found 2 skype conversations that were not closed down. From two different women. Looks like it has been going on for a couple of months. They were very intimate and graphic. A few times they have been using the webcam. We have been together 15 years and I'm so sad about this. We don't have children, but were going to start trying again as soon as I get off pain medication for an operation I had a few months ago. I guess that's not going to happen now. I don't know what to do or even how to confront him about it.

what do I do?



fiery -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (5/19/2011 9:25:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

I have just know (2 hours ago) found 2 skype conversations that were not closed down. From two different women. Looks like it has been going on for a couple of months. They were very intimate and graphic. A few times they have been using the webcam. We have been together 15 years and I'm so sad about this. We don't have children, but were going to start trying again as soon as I get off pain medication for an operation I had a few months ago. I guess that's not going to happen now. I don't know what to do or even how to confront him about it.

what do I do?


Give yourself a day or two to cool off first and don't do anything rash. That will give you time to think through what you want to say, what you want to know and what your options are, including ignoring it.

If you decide to confront him, I suggest you do so in a simple, straightforward way. You tell him what you saw, just the same as you did there in this post, and go from there. It's up to him to explain what's going on. He'll probably realize he didn't close them down before you saw them anyway and may approach you first. You also need to think about what you want the outcome to be from confronting him. Do you want him to stop all contact with them? Tell them he's married in case they don't know? Uninstall Skype? Spend more time with you and less on the computer? Think these things through.

I think the last thing you want to be doing right now is trying for a baby if there's issues to be resolved, hon. It may not even be wise to carry a child so soon after surgery if it was major. They put a big strain on you physically. Check with your doctor on that either way. Good luck.



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (5/21/2011 8:49:35 AM)

FieryI changed the password on the computer and he asked what was wrong with it after he got home from work. I told he he would have to beat it out of me before he got that password and a few other choice frases I will not repeat here, then kicked him out. I feel he was sorry, but only because he got caught. After further investigation (he's so dumb) I found the has tried this with many women. I talked to the two women he had sex with online, one was just a whore and the other was very upset and hurt. she was sorry and felt really stupid like i do right now. He had also been laughing about and swapping stories with other men on skype. I am disgusted with him. His father left his mother for a younger woman when he was 18 and I never thought he would do this. He still has issues with his Dad over that. And my mother cheated on my father so he knows how much this would have hurt me. He has repeatedly told me in the past how loyal I am and he never worries about me doing him wrong. I feel he has taken advantage of that. His mother lives next door, and he is staying there now. She hasn't bothered to check up on me and I (used to) cook her dinner nearly every night. Little bit mad at her too.In conclusion, I haven't decided what I am going to do, but I doubt I could ever let him touch me again. I feel like he died months ago and there was a stranger living in his skin and no one bothered to tell me. thankyou for taking the time

what do I do?



fiery -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (5/21/2011 8:53:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

FieryI changed the password on the computer and he asked what was wrong with it after he got home from work. I told he he would have to beat it out of me before he got that password and a few other choice frases I will not repeat here, then kicked him out. I feel he was sorry, but only because he got caught. After further investigation (he's so dumb) I found the has tried this with many women. I talked to the two women he had sex with online, one was just a whore and the other was very upset and hurt. she was sorry and felt really stupid like i do right now. He had also been laughing about and swapping stories with other men on skype. I am disgusted with him. His father left his mother for a younger woman when he was 18 and I never thought he would do this. He still has issues with his Dad over that. And my mother cheated on my father so he knows how much this would have hurt me. He has repeatedly told me in the past how loyal I am and he never worries about me doing him wrong. I feel he has taken advantage of that. His mother lives next door, and he is staying there now. She hasn't bothered to check up on me and I (used to) cook her dinner nearly every night. Little bit mad at her too.In conclusion, I haven't decided what I am going to do, but I doubt I could ever let him touch me again. I feel like he died months ago and there was a stranger living in his skin and no one bothered to tell me. thankyou for taking the time

what do I do?


I can't tell you what to do, hon. You're the only one that can decide on that. As I said before, I think you should give yourself time to cool off and make the most now of having the space to think.

I wouldn't be mad at his mom. She's probably as disappointed and confused at his behavior as you are. She won't know what to say to you. And you don't even know what he's told her if anything. I don't think you should redirect your anger in her direction. She is after all his mother and isn't going to turn her son away from the door. She's just caught in the crossfire.

Don't make any rash decisions because right now you're hurt and angry which isn't the best state of mind to be in to make big choices.

Eventually you two will need to sit down together and talk. The best advice I can give is what I said before: prepare yourself best you can for that conversation and think about what you do want, as well as what you don't. And when he talks, try to put the anger and hurt aside and really listen to what's said. You guys need to get to the bottom of it if you're ever going to work things out and figure out how he for example became a stranger in your eyes. I know right now all you want is him away from you but you may change your mind, or you may decide to split. Either way you need to talk to each other. Just do your best to look after yourself in the meantime. take care.



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (7/5/2011 11:44:34 AM)

My husband and I were both guilty of having an online affair about 10 years ago. We had alot of problems and separated because of it. We had 3 young children at the time, one of which is severely disabled. It started when I was so busy with our children, working a full time job, and trying to keep our home due to financial difficulties from ever mounting medical expenses. At the time I didn't realize how important sex was to my husband,as for me sex was the last thing on my mind with everything else on my plate. I caught him in the middle of the night having cybersex with someone. I was stupid and didn't even know it existed. I was hurt I went back to bed after I voiced my disgust. I was hurt. I mulled over how to hurt him the way he hurt me. So I did the same thing. Except it was not about cybersex for me but needing a friend. Anyway it almost cost us our marriage. After a two month separation, we got back together. We had children that was a big priority for both of us. We went to counseling for almost 3 years as a couple. The number ONE condition for us to get back together was to never ever chat online again.I have not done that. I am still working full time as does he, our children are older now, yet our disabled son is still very ill. I have been in college since 2007, although for finanial reasons I took a break for a year from school, but am enrolled for half time to begin this coming fall. Last week I got on the computer to check my email, and as soon as I turned on the computer a yahoo chat box came up I knew then that he had been chatting again, I was hurt but I had to know so I clicked on the chat history, and read conversations for the past 4 days as that is as far as the history went back. Not only were they chatting and having cybersex, they were talking about an engagement in a virtual world. The words cut through me like a knife. I copied every conversation that was available to me and saved them to my email box. Then I confronted him. He initially just said it was nothing, but when I could quote parts of his conversations over the last few days he knew that I knew. He said that he started talking to this woman on his last vacation about a month ago. I asked him to move out while I think. He says he is terribly sorry and that it will never happen again. He deleted all the accounts in front of me. I want to believe him, but I have to worry is he really sorry, or is he just sorry he got caught. And if I hadn't have caught him how far would this have gone. They live 1000 miles apart, and we don't have the financial means to make it real. But if they were talking about an engagement in a virtual world, in talking for less than a month I have to wonder. Can I ever trust him again? Is it over. He broke a promise that almost cost our marriage once before.

Tess



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (3/13/2012 12:06:37 AM)

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 10 years now. We have a daughter together, and he has a son that I have been there for and consider my own. We are not married but occasionally talk about getting married, but to him it's never the right time. We introduce each other as husband and wife and I would consider our realtionship a healthy one except for his addicion to porn and internet affairs. The past two years of our relationship I have caught him several times having online "relationships" with other women (of one which I found out did turn physical). He claims he just does it for attention and has even mentioned once that he thinks he has an addiction. He claims that it will stop and that it will never happen again. He is too "manley" to seek counseling. I have given him several chances and once again I have caught him talkin to other women online. When is enough, enough?!

Ashley



ArticlePost -> RE: Internet Relationships - Is It Cheating? (4/28/2012 8:34:28 PM)

I recently discovered my husband of 25 years is having an internet affair. But, according to the emails I found (not searching, but he left his email open), she has also traveled to our city on at least 2 occasions, and he met her at a hotel. He insists nothing physical happened, and it's no big deal. It has devestated our family -- my daughter was the one who was the next on the computer and saw everything. To those that think internet affairs are safe, you are wrong. I am moving out tomorrow with our children, because he refuses to believe he did anything wrong, and of course, if he did, it's all my fault.

ME



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]