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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 1/27/2009 3:58:47 AM
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ArticlePost
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Mum 32 i don't know how you can be that strict at the end of the day it is there life! making them feel restricted like how you do with your controlling ways will make them resent you in the futre mayb you should take a leaf out of my book. we currently live in ney york which is terribal for my daughter the boys she gets involved with a voulger. wwe are currently on the move to LA, cali where we can settle down it is about doing the best for her no resticting her.
Dad505
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 2/7/2009 3:57:47 AM
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ArticlePost
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My daughter is lazy and refuses to become a responsible adult. What do I do in this case? Here are the facts: She is 21 years old, and didn't want to join the working world, so she married a guy who she ran into, and really only dated a week or two (but she knew him back when she was 15, and a dated a little back then, by phone). He promised her she wouldn't have to work (and she was all for that), which was code for I will control you in all ways possible. He turned out to be a total ass. Now she is 2 months pregnant and she lives back at home, and he lives 400 miles away. Yeah, they have split up, go figure, not even married a full year and split up 2-3 months ago. Ok, she needs to go to work, to raise money for the baby, but sleeps in every day until about noon or 1pm, then plays video games, watches tv, gets a bite to eat, and returns to watch tv. She like to color in coloring books, and do other things that would be common to children 12 and under. Get my drift? What do I do? My husband (her step father) says I need to exercise some tough love, if even by just hasseling her a little to find work. he claims that things will get worse. I can't be tough with my kids. He says that they will have trouble adapting in the future. Is this an example? Thank you for your honest responses.
bgs
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 2/7/2009 4:06:42 AM
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ArticlePost
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Is my daughter is lazy? She is dragging her feet in becoming a responsible adult. What do I do in this case? Here are the facts: She is 21 years old, and not enthused about the working world, so she married a guy who she ran into, and really only dated a week or two (but she knew him back when she was 15, and they dated a little, back then, by phone). He promised her she wouldn't have to work, which was code for I will control you in all ways possible. He turned out to be a total jerk, and I do mean total. Now she is 2 months pregnant and she lives back at home, and he lives 400 miles away. Yeah, they have split up, go figure, not even married a full year and split up 2-3 months ago. Ok, she needs to go to work, to raise money for the baby, but sleeps in every day until about noon or 1pm, then plays video games, watches tv, gets a bite to eat, and returns to watch tv. She thinks this is all a game, and doesn't fathom what is really going on here. Her soon to be ex has implied the pregnancy was her way to solidify her sedintary lifestyle, and she honestly does not appear to be concerned that they have split up. She likes to color in coloring books, and do other things that would be common to children 12 and under (listen to childrens music, watch childrens shows, etc.). Get my drift? What do I do? My husband (her step father) says I need to exercise some tough love, if even by just hasseling her a little to find work. He claims that things will get worse. I can't be tough with my kids. He says that they will have trouble adapting in the future. Is this an example? Thank you for your honest responses.
bgs44
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 3/5/2009 2:53:40 AM
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ArticlePost
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My daughter had a bad start in secondaryu school.she got caught giving oral sex in the local woods and since then has been a vitim of bullying. I want her to be like me! you see she gives it away for free when i earn money for it ...sometimes it's what you have to do to survie i want to teach her that she can earn off of it. Recently her boyfriend died and it hit her hard. she recently slept with ten men in the space of a week before his funeral to hide her pain. If i slept with ten men whitin a week i would have earnt a fortune but silly cow earnt NOTHING.
mum 24
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 3/5/2009 10:28:25 AM
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Lisa
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That is really sad mum 24. Are you serious?? Have you taken her to a therapist? Maybe you should see one too.
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 3/12/2009 8:43:01 AM
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ArticlePost
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kids now days just need a good ass kicking thats all. its just a shame you cant discipline your kids without them threatening to call cps
ric
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 4/14/2009 9:31:30 AM
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ArticlePost
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Wow, I got on this a.m. for advice for my 16yr old son and I'm speechless. I knew the gaming world wasn't good, but it is affecting these kids. What kind of future generation are we raising? I like many of you are struggling with his laziness, hygiene, and lack of motivation. I have 2 other kids and have no problems with them, we are all a responsible and hard working family. We give lots of love and stability daily. My oldest boy got into WOW online gaming 3 yrs ago and has sunk into a black hole. NOTHING interests him anymore. He was popular, smart, lots of friends, excellent in sports(soccer) and now none of that exists. My husband and I have tried to limit hours, use parent controls and problem seems to be worse. I loose sleep over this. I would appreciate any insight you all can give me. Thank you very much.
jen
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 4/14/2009 5:29:08 PM
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ArticlePost
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I am a grand mother trying to understand why my daughter lets her 18 year old son runs rings around her,especially as she had to work and takeon responsibility from 15 years old.Do not tell me that she is rebelling,she is far too intelligent for that.
alice owen
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 4/16/2009 7:40:25 PM
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ArticlePost
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my kids tell me I am the meanest mom in the whole world. I went to my local hardware store and bought heavy duty electrical plugs with matching male and female ends went into each of my kids rooms ( I have 6 kids ranging from 8-17) I cut each one tv cords in half and attached the flat ends to their tvs and the prong end on the other end of the cords every time they don't want to turn off their tv or gaming systems to go out and participate with us as a family or chores aren't done i take their cords and they look at me with pain in their eyes like i killed their pet. but I don't have to yell or say anything they know what is needed to be done or where they are going liking it or not. lol. my seventeen year old hates to get up in the morning he was my son from a different planet( he is the kid holding the door frame screaming no let me sleep)i don't want to go to school!!!! until I finally said to him if you can't get up for school on your own in be at school on time I will start making you go to bed early by however long it takes you or how ever long your late. Weekends all your friends will know you have to be in the house by 9pm if you give me more than three problems in the morning and your weekend with friends will be cancelled and you will have no tv no cell phone and no computer. I tease him the world outside will be gone as he knows it. my house is so relaxing most days outside of hockey games ,practices , figure skating and dance lessons. lol
devilsdesire6055
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 5/6/2009 10:01:04 PM
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ArticlePost
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My fifteen year old daughter was always self disciplined when it came to doing chores until about a year ago. Bottom line is teens are going through a lot of changes. It might be society that is changing, but that is because they no longer must work for food. In my house hold my daughter's responsibilities are the same as an adults. If she doesn't wash her own clothes, she doesn't have any clean one's. My kids started washing their own clothes when they were 5 and 8. The older one washed and dryed and the younger one folded. She is also responsible for the food menu, shopping list, cooking, and kitchen clean-up. This teachers her how to be on her own and it's easier to get her to do them because her happiness depends on it. She cleans her own bathroom and she cleans the cat litter boxes. The only thing I have to tell her to get done is the dishes and the cat boxes. The rest comes with surviving. I can tell you, it is a huge help. We do have to sacrifice some choices in dinner (but now i don't have to answer the question "what's for dinner mom"). She does have quite the chore list because she only has to be at school once a week. She does the rest online. However you can modify the list to work with their schedule. You can teach them things like doing the bank recs or the household budget. Why make kids do traditional jobs...we all know they suck. Our goal as parents is to teach them how to live their lives and encourage them. I have to tell my daughter to not take her bad moods out on me and I explain to her why she's in those moods.When all else fails parents...remember that we can't force our kids to change their personalities all we can do is accept them and work with them. If we change their chores often, they are more likely to do them and we teach them how to do everything. We taught them to water the lawn 5 years ago...shouldn't they be learning to balance a check book now or make a budget. It's still helping out the family....maybe parents just want them doing the chores we don't to do.
DBLSB
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 5/25/2009 12:09:10 AM
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ArticlePost
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I agree with DBLSB. I did the same with my four children and all was great for many years, they were all great kids and I enjoyed them to the fullest but my three boys turned 18 one year right after three years in a role. Once the first one turned 18 all hell broke loose. Its like freedom for him, he moved out before he could afford it and skipped out on college. the next one got a 16 year ole pregnant, joined the army, moved to Alaska is hasn't spoken to me or anyone in his family for over a year. the next one decided he wanted to go to the army too, but couldn't handle it and now is back buming on my couch and I can't get him to do anything. So far my girl is still doing good but she is only 16. I'm hoping that she is learning from the boys and wont go there when she turns 18 like they did.
WORRIED
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 6/15/2009 11:01:46 AM
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ArticlePost
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I have a 12 year old daughter who expects me to do everything for her and provide at the drop of a hat money, taxi service, fine dining and laundry pick-up floor service. I talk until I'm blue in the face and she indicates (i'm sorry) and continues to perform her lazy habits. Help!!! Any suggestions. She is an only child and I have spoiled her since her fathers death 5 years ago. She thinks she's the boss.
Tammy
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 6/15/2009 11:44:42 AM
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Donnabee
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Hi Tammy-
I remember going here there and anywhere she wanted me to take her. I too spoiled my daughter however we were so close, she is at an age when I consider this type of behavior quite normal. I did not mind doing all these things for her as long as she treated me with respect. Respect to me was not lying, making her grades in school, being with the right group of girls. Sure it was hard at times we had our ups and downs but always close. I wanted to instill in her truth, respect, education. She is all grown up now she went to college, then got her masters degree, now works for the Federal Government. These days the main thing is keeping our children self esteem high. My daughter got a job when she was 14 working at a little tanning salon by one of my friends that owned it. She has never stop working. Give her some chores around the house nothing that would overwhelm her just something that SHE knows she is responsible for. If that is not done she should be told I take you places and you can do this little chore or one of the places you want me to take you I will not. Hang in there she is 12 you have a ride ahead and it will depend on how you handle it. A child is not spoiled if taught the right ways in ways and obeys them.
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 6/19/2009 1:27:53 PM
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momofteentwins
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I need help. I am a single mom of twin 17 year old daughters. They have started running around with a couple of new friends that have them convinced that they are now adults and don't have to pay attention to rules or curfew, and have given them the idea that I have no business telling them anything. It has gotten so bad that one of my daughters has started telling me how much she hates me, that she doesn't respect me and that I am stupid. I have NEVER told either of my girls that they were anything other than wonderful. I am not a pushover, but I am not a strict disciplinarian either. I have tried to allow them to grow and make choices based on the morals I have taught them but I cannot take much more of this. It is to the point where I am wanting them to move out, no matter where they go. Neither one has a job. I have tried for almost two years (they will be 18 in July) to get them to get a job. They keep telling me that it is THEIR weekend, or THEIR spring break or THEIR summer...... I am soooo tired of hearing this. I work long hard hours to give them what they need. I get accused of never being home. I try to teach them basic house work, I get accused of favoring one over the other by giving the "crap" jobs to one even though I rotate them weekly. If anything gets done it is half way at best. The fights are completely unreal, I would NEVER have spoken to my parents like this. Now, they ignore me in my own home, and just walk out the door without a goodbye or this is where I am going. Is this behavior normal?
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 7/10/2009 12:33:54 PM
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ArticlePost
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I was smacked as a kid and it set me straight but you cant do that know god forbid . It is a shame the kids are lazy and disrespectful they care about nothing . TIME TO LIFT THE HAND PEOPLE IT"S NO BEATING IT"S TEACHING AND IT DOES WORK
dad of 2
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 7/21/2009 9:24:38 AM
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evil step dad
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Momofteentwins, it sounds like a difficult period. Children's personalities are influenced by their peers, and not by their parents. The developing minds are saturated with outside influences that compell them to experiment with everything that is opposite to your desires. This is a biological process that supports their individualism. But, fortunately, the morals and positive virtues that was instilled in them remain and will eventually direct their course in later years. Sometimes these attributes are slow in coming. My reccomendation is to make their lifestyle as difficult as possible-such as; forcing them to make their own money if they want any. No transportation of any kind, no prepared food, no toiletries . . basically go on strike to shake their thinking up a bit. If they want to be individuals, force reality on them. Our objectives in parenting is to make our children productive citizens at almost any cost.
Dan
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 7/23/2009 10:29:35 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: evil step dad
Momofteentwins, it sounds like a difficult period. Children's personalities are influenced by their peers, and not by their parents. The developing minds are saturated with outside influences that compell them to experiment with everything that is opposite to your desires. This is a biological process that supports their individualism. But, fortunately, the morals and positive virtues that was instilled in them remain and will eventually direct their course in later years. Sometimes these attributes are slow in coming. My reccomendation is to make their lifestyle as difficult as possible-such as; forcing them to make their own money if they want any. No transportation of any kind, no prepared food, no toiletries . . basically go on strike to shake their thinking up a bit. If they want to be individuals, force reality on them. Our objectives in parenting is to make our children productive citizens at almost any cost.
Dan
Hear, hear on the recommendation. In fact, I'd be changing the locks too when I got them out. Let them go move in with these buddies and find out what life outside of the comforts of a cosy home is like. They're big enough to be working and passed the age where they should be behaving like spoiled brats. Don't accept it a moment longer the way it is. They'll soon find out where their friend's loyalties lie when they need help. And if they stay away, then you have the chance to get yourself back together again. They shouldn't be draining you like this.
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 9/1/2009 4:59:32 PM
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TVCastingDirector
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I am the casting director of "World's Strictest Parents" on CMT and our show has definitely addressed the topic of lazy teenagers. Most of the teens we meet struggle with understanding the importance of teamwork, lack work ethic and refuse to do their chores. Many parents are at a loss because their teens have tuned them out. You can view previous episodes of the show on CMT.com .
CMT is now casting both teens and families to appear on the hit show, World’s Strictest Parents. If you are the parent of a rebellious teen determined to challenge authority OR the strict parents who can set those teens straight with discipline and understanding, apply now. Call the casting hotline with your story and contact info at (888) 41-TEENS
_____________________________
Tamra B
Casting Director of World's Strictest Parents on CMT
888-41-TEENS
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 9/6/2009 12:00:59 AM
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fiery
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Hmm, I bet we have a few parents here that could do this!
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RE: How to Deal with Lazy Teenagers - 9/6/2009 12:03:26 AM
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dianerene
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I've seen that show, it scares me!
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