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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 12/8/2010 4:26:17 PM
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ArticlePost
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What can I say.... He cheated, I cheated to get even (that doesnt work. I felt like **** after). We have four kids. I'm a SAHM, he works. Its sad to read so many stories above that remind me of my experience. It does get easier, but still there will always be a question. What if? Will he? Will I? Did he really go to the gym? So I sit here wondering what the hell to do about any of this. to leave or not to leave. I have been asking myself that for 11 years. I want to forgive, but dont because I dont want to be that "stupid woman" who stays with the cheater, but I also dont want to be a single mom with four kids. They are our children and no other man will love them as much as he does. But its my life and I do not deserve to be treated like that and disrespected. I wanted to be enough too. I want our family and our life together to be enough for him to stay satisfied, but he wanted more and it wasnt enough. I was told by a trusted friend that him cheating isnt a reflection of anything I did wrong. Its a reflection of his self worth.I dont want to be that stupid women that stayed, I also dont want to become a single mom of four kids. So I sit, making my choice by not making a choice. The lesser of the two evils. But I want to love him as I once did before the cheating. I wish I can love whole heartedly again, but in doing so I would be that woman. Or maybe there is just a big misunderstanding behind men and women that cheat, but whos to say. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Me
This is a family friendly forum. Please do not use symbols to override censored words. Post edited for language. - admin.
< Message edited by fiery -- 12/8/2010 7:01:18 PM >
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 2/10/2011 2:16:47 PM
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ArticlePost
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Im not married but i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I went away to see my mom for 2 weeks and came back to find he cheated with his friends sister. He never told me the truth. She finally confronted me and told me everything. He cheated with her in our bed. And let me sleep there like nothing had happened. Instead of confronting the situation in the begining he lied now he refuses to talk instead he is going to the bar. What do i do? i love him, but i dont think it can ever be the same.
Jenn
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 2/15/2011 10:25:01 PM
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ArticlePost
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Went through one affaire that I know of. Married 14 yrs. 18 yrs. together. Gained some weight. 2 kids. Mother-in-law in our daily lives (18yrs.) to take care of daily. Failing business, going broke, total single parent (he's supposadly at work) Hate my life, but love my kids. Found my husband at a bar, during the day with a chick. Say's he was by himself just ran into her. Don't believe him. Hate his guts at this point. Don't trust him and haven't since the first affaire. Not in good place. Does one believe this person?
pissed off
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 2/28/2011 6:51:33 PM
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ArticlePost
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Is it possible to have a longterm relationship with a man and he NOT cheat? I have been with my husband 15 years he went thru midlife crisis at 45 left me 3 times lived with another woman during that time. (all during his crisis) We have been back together with no problems (I thought) for almost 2 years. He confessed over the weekend that he has been seeing someone the whole time we have been back together but that he is sorry and wants us to stay together. Any thoughts?
Jazz
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 3/1/2011 4:58:26 AM
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ArticlePost
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ive been with my boyfriend for a number of years- it was definately a whirlwind and i though we loved eachother dearly i thought we had an amazin relationship. 6 months in, i found out he cheated. another 6 months after that, i found out he cheated, 4 months after that, i found out he cheated whilst i was pregnant and i am sure the stress caused me to miscarry our baby. a few months after that i found out he cheated when i had symtons of an STI and found out i had 3 of them- it is now march 2011 and yesterday i found out he has cheated on me again- whilst we were trying for a baby and whilst i was still miscarrying our second child. I honestly thought he would change and no words can even begin to express how truely heartbroken I am- i feel as if our crystal ball has been shattered into millions of pieces. I have no self esteem, i cant sleep nor eat nor function- some days i struggle to even get out of bed.
sick&tired
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 3/5/2011 7:17:31 AM
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ArticlePost
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I accidentally came across this page and began to read all the stories. It saddens me. I went from being married to an abuser for 18yrs to getting involved with a cheater. How ever did this happen? Why does the "I'm sorries" sting. It brings no comfort after the first time. It seems to me I must move on. It hurts and I must be strong.
epiphany
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 3/10/2011 8:06:34 AM
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ChristineB
Posts: 3732
Joined: 12/7/2007
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It is so hard. I have been there too. I use the old phrase now, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
I know it seems cold, but it has helped me.
_____________________________
The Traveling Pendant
My Mom's dying wish....
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 4/13/2011 9:59:31 PM
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ArticlePost
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When I found out my husband of nearly 10yrs had cheated which resulted in a baby with the other woman it was devistating! I no longer loved him, and knew at that moment that we would not continue to be man and wife. Now he has turned the tables on me, and through our divorce become a very nasty and resentful person. Boo hoo
I can do better
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 4/14/2011 5:03:01 PM
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ArticlePost
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My husband recently cheated on me he said it was only twice, however I'm not sure if that's true all I know is I am beyond hurt and shock.What now
Natasha
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 4/20/2011 10:48:11 PM
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ArticlePost
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My husband stepped out on me while extremely intoxicated once. Finding God is the only answer for us. If he had Him in the first place this wouldn't of happen...
Cheyenne
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 5/2/2011 8:40:43 PM
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ArticlePost
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i did my homework looked at phone, txts, had suspicions, found receipts for large amounts, then asked "do u know someone by the name...". then he said "why?". i knew he knew, i knew. i`m just sad. had been having probs etc. but then realised, he`d been harmed as a child. just dont know where to turn. sooo confused. feel bad for him, bad for self, was willing to walk, now i need to be here 4 him.
confused
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 5/3/2011 11:57:09 AM
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ChristineB
Posts: 3732
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Hi Confused. It's hard to tell exactly what's going on from your post, but if he had an issue in his childhood then that needs to be worked out professionally. Sad yes, but reason to cheat, hmmmm. I'm no expert but make sure you're staying only if he is working on his life.....not as a doormat for excuses.
_____________________________
The Traveling Pendant
My Mom's dying wish....
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 5/12/2011 6:22:26 PM
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ArticlePost
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my husband has been cheating on me with a amrried female since 6 years, and when ever i descide to leave him i shut down because i want to save kids from the pain while am having it , they both work togther and all my tirals to stop this relation it was of no use, now i feel my children had grown up and they can stand the situation
nancy
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 6/23/2011 5:04:30 PM
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ArticlePost
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God is always the key to a problem. I do believe that if god is in your lives that things would be different. Thats not the case but should be for all marriages. And for confused, don't stay there for him. You need to take care of you.
Init2winit
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 7/7/2011 5:00:59 PM
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ArticlePost
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After thirty years of marriage, my husband had an affair. We went to Aruba for our 30th anniversay clueless to me that he was cheating on me. I am so devesated. I put 30 years into this marriage, worked full-time my entire life to help with the bills. Even when he lost his business, I worked two jobs to bring the money in to support us and this is how he repays me. I need help and advice. Someone please help me
Carol
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 7/8/2011 8:34:52 AM
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tired
Posts: 27
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Hi Carol,
I'm sorry to hear your devastating news. I know it is very painful. Does he know that you know this? Would this be the first time? There are soo many things to consider. Do you both still want to remain married? Maybe some counseling will help to start with so you can figure out some of the answers to those questions. I started a thread on here about something that may be similar. It is titled - Can I go on in the marriage section. I went through this quite sometime ago but the answers I received from a couple of the ladies on here were quite helpful to me. Give it a read and in the meantime I'm sure you'll be hearing from others. Try to take care of yourself above all - easier said then done I know. I wish you the best.
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 7/14/2011 12:07:10 AM
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fiery
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I'm so sorry to hear that, Carol. Where do things stand at the moment between you both? I mean does he want to stay with you and/or you with him? Have you discussed that at all?
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 7/25/2011 5:55:24 AM
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ArticlePost
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My husband cheated on me with several woman for at least the first 7 years of our marriage. I know of 4 and I believe there are several more. We are still together and I love him but I still have terrible flash backs of him with these woman and we have been married 14 years now. I'm not allowed to talk about what he's done that leads to him becoming enraged at me because I can't let go so I suffer in silence
LJM
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 7/29/2011 5:25:07 AM
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ArticlePost
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My partner of 11 years and i recently ran into a bad patch - he kissed someone else, we had a huge fight and his behavior was off so I asked him to move out. A week after he moved out he had a one night stand. I am so hurt, I love him so much, he desperately wants to resolve things but I can't stop thinking about this, I will never be able to trust him again, I thought I knew him. It's killing me! I feel totally unattractive and uninteresting, my body has been ruined by pregnancy and I really don't think I'll be able to find some one - even though everyone says there is nothing wrong with me. Should I suck it up and get over my insecurities or go back to him.
shez
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 9/2/2011 2:50:44 PM
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ArticlePost
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my fiance of six years cheated on me a year into our relationship, he slept with someone, it was a one off but they still kept in contact long after until i found the messages. Now six years on he has been messing around again.. i found the messages, he met this girl on his ship (he's in the navy) nothing happened but the messages were how he was confused and how he missed her when they were not together, how she had infected him, how she was intelligent, stunning, outragous body, when he came back home, he went to meet her, and they kissed. We are planning for a wedding (were) and he was letting me go ahead with it all.. the messages also show how they weere planning to meet to spend a weekend to gether in a hotel.. he said it would have never happened.. I dont know what to do, i really need some advice.
vick
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