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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 9/3/2011 7:12:33 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ArticlePost
my fiance of six years cheated on me a year into our relationship, he slept with someone, it was a one off but they still kept in contact long after until i found the messages. Now six years on he has been messing around again.. i found the messages, he met this girl on his ship (he's in the navy) nothing happened but the messages were how he was confused and how he missed her when they were not together, how she had infected him, how she was intelligent, stunning, outragous body, when he came back home, he went to meet her, and they kissed. We are planning for a wedding (were) and he was letting me go ahead with it all.. the messages also show how they weere planning to meet to spend a weekend to gether in a hotel.. he said it would have never happened.. I dont know what to do, i really need some advice.<br><br>vick
I'd postpone the wedding indefinitely if not cancel it. It's better to sort this all out now before you marry him than to get married and be wondering, especially with him being away from home in a ship with her a lot. Me, I'd want him to quit the Navy or get a transfer so he's not tempted again by her. You don't tell someone they have an outrageous body you're a casual friend with unless you plan to sleep with them, which he obviously did plan to despite his saying it would never have happened. The messages say different.
It's only not happening because you caught him. And it's not the first time he's cheated on you. Doesn't look to me like he can be trusted if he's not close to home or maybe not at all. You deserve better.
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 10/2/2011 12:21:05 AM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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My husband and I have been together for a long long time. He had an affair about 2 years ago. This hurt me so so so bad. I really didn't know what to do or how to deal with it. He states that it was all pretend and nothing really happen, but he doesn't knows have the evidence I have. All I ever wanted was the truth from him and the fact that he even talked about me and really thought that I was really a fool made it even worst. all these years and he reallt think that he could lie his way out of this. All I can say is pay back is mutha. I am not perfect but certain things you don't do. I built my marriage, changed many things about myself to have it played with and even made a mockery out of. So why not do the same. He likes to pretend so do I. The best has yet to come. He will know just how it feels to build something and love it so much to have it all torn away and trampled on like its nothing because of selfishness and not caring at all. Pay Back is a ****. You don't play with people hearts and think its ok. Then lie.....there is an old saying "If I can't trust you with the truth then how can I trust you at all".....I shall get the last laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Myles
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 1/28/2012 7:13:37 PM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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Just found out my marriage of 28 years went down the hole, less than 24 hours ago. worked part time stayed home and raised the kids,gave him I thought the very best that I was, I'm christian he wasnt so I guess thats why. No answers no friends, to help me or talk to outside my close sister, mom dad son and daughter. I know I'm not alone with God I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.
Becky
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 1/31/2012 5:41:00 PM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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Becky my heart goes out to you. You will get through this. The pain will feel unbearable at times and you will walk around wondering how this could have happened to you. You will have panic attacks in the middle of the night and will feel as if no one understands. I understand. I have lived through the past 3 months thinking I would not make it. Keep praying. God promises to hear the needy when they cry. Talk to your pastor if you have one. I will pray for you
Tammy
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 2/12/2012 7:07:44 PM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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My husband cheated on me the first time after 9 years. I didn't forgive him but I did excuse him because he wasn't in church.I developed bipolar because I couldn't except it.We have now been married 26 years and last February I found out he cheated again.I had totally trusted him believing a christian would not be capable of commenting such a sin. Not only is my marriage damaged but my faith is also. I'm still with him but I Feel like I've spent this whole year refusing to deal with any of the pain it's caused me.I've even stopped going to church.
lost
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 3/29/2012 9:59:01 AM
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ArticlePost
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my name is Nicole I am 24 years old. I have been in a relationship for nine years and married for three. I have two children that came from the marriage. my husband has been cheating on me from the start this I know. I loved him so much that I put myself to the side and took him back every time because he was just that persuasive. He was arrested in 2007 I was their for him for him the whole two years while he was in prison. I never cheated on him I worked and taken care of my children and him while he was there. he talked all this mess about how he wasn't gonna hurt me any more and he would cherish and love me for the rest of his days we got married when he was released from prison a month later. two weeks after the wedding he started to hang out with an old friend whom i didnt trust and felt like he should not have either. the friend tried to betray him while he was their and tried to have sex with me I would something like that so I told my husband what his friend did. when he started hanging out with him again I felt like he had totally ignored my feelings and told me that he didnt care and probably slept with his friend I was so hurt because my moral standards and great value and character will not permit me to do something like that. 60 days after marriage I found out that he was asking his sister if she had any friends that wanted to hook up, i was so heart broken I broke down and became depressed. I always find him with girls numbers and he shows no care to how I fell about it. recently I found out that he tried to sleep with two of my friends who i dont really hang with because i am far but when i am around we do speak and hang out. after that i feel like i was betrayed ultimately since i am forgiving i forgave but just cant seem to forget. I have just left him a week ago and I am feeling so down and depressed because i have bben very good to this man and he shows no reguards to my feelings at all. When i leave him he acts as if he doesnt even care. I just a need a little positive message that will help to get over this empty feeling.
nicole
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 4/21/2012 6:06:44 AM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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hey boo i know what you are saying, the hurt is overwheling for us. but hold on God has your back, he has not got away with anything ok. the bible states that cheating leads to death, so dont do it ok, just pray.....be blessed
angie
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RE: When He Cheats… Coping With Infidelity - 4/27/2012 10:08:52 PM
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ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
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The highlights of the last twelve months. My husband started cheating without my knowledge. I got pregnant he continued to cheat. I lost the baby and then two months later found out he had been cheating for at least a year. I became depressed. I lost my job. Now I am so angry with him at this moment. I thought I could forgive in fact we found a new appreciation for eachother once we got scared that we'd break apart. but now I find it so hard to look at him sometimes. My world is shattered. I don't see any way for it to get better.
Tracy
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