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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/11/2009 3:40:31 PM
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ArticlePost
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Remarrying your ex is your choice however I strongly suggest you really think it over first.
AI
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/23/2009 12:49:22 PM
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ArticlePost
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even though my exwife left me for someone else i would take her bak in a heart beat. she cant admit it though that she had an emotional affair with this man. I love her sooooooooooo much but cant tell her this.
craig malone
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/25/2009 9:05:50 AM
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ArticlePost
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I believe that Matricomp brought divorced couples back together quite often on Krypton where Superman was born and lived as Kal-El.Eventually both Matricomp and Krypton blew up in so doing ceased to exist.
AI
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 4/4/2009 10:26:08 AM
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ArticlePost
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On divorce court there's a woman who remarries her ex only to divorce him again.She's done this at least 4 times already.The judge refuses to grant her another divorce.
AI
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 4/5/2009 6:01:59 PM
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ArticlePost
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I'm in quite a pickle I guess. It gives me hope to know that there are so many out there who do get back with their ex. I'm in the process of a divorce I didn't want. My husband of four years, 7 together came home on my birthday and told me he wasn't in love with me. He's in the military, has been overseas many times so we've spent much time apart. His last deployment took such a toll on him it changed who he was, and it changed our relationship. I have since moved out, have my own place and have been doing my own thing. He's been nothing short of a jerk to me since we've been going back and forth with lawyers. Now, after he finally got the Settlement papers back from me he's been telling me that he has realized what a huge mistake he's made, how much he took me for granted etc., he misses me and realizes how much he still loves me and wants me back. I don't feel that I can forgive him or go back. Hell, I'd be crazy TO go back! I'd always be thinking and wondering when he would do it again. But I'm torn. I obviously still love him, he was my everything. But I've found out who I am slowly day by day without him and am scared to go back. I still very much think that this divorce needs to happen and he needs to get help, but am not closed off to the idea of remarrying him much into the future. Ahhh... don't know what to do. The head and the heart are conflicted. Thoughts??????
Denise
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 4/8/2009 2:23:04 PM
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mommabell
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No way. I married way too young and we were both terribly immature. He was emotionally and physically abusive. We really only married because we were expecting a child. I have not and will not ever say that my child was a mistake or the cause of the bad marriage. It was a choice I made thinking I was doing what was right for the child. However, just because you have a child together does not mean that you are meant to be together. We did not love each other... we were too young to know what love was. I lived in pure torture for two years and finally got up the courage to leave. After I got over that I started talking to and fell in love with my very best friend that I had lost contact with since High School. We married and have been together for almost nine years. We have two children together. I have to stay in contact with my ex because of our child going to visit him, but there has never been any feeling of regret that I did the wrong thing when I left him. I could not be happier! Sometimes it just isn't meant to be!!!!
However, my mom and dad have split up a couple of times... and somehow they always wind up back together. They have been married for 30 years. I suppose sometimes it can happen. People make mistakes and it may take a while to realize that you were meant to be with the one you left..... they say you don't know what you've got till its gone. But I would seriously take into consideration what caused the marriage to fall apart in the first place before jumping back in head over heels!!!!!! God Bless
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 4/25/2009 7:02:08 AM
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ArticlePost
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When I turned 50 I founded out my husband had been cheating on me during the 17 year old marriage. I divorced him in 2002. We were a military family, which made it harder. I look back now to see I was married to a stranger. We relocated to another state and I had high hopes things would change and we could get to know each better, but, it is what it is (he is extremely private and a poor communicator). We live together and take care of each other (financially, I play mother role to grown kids and granddaughter)but that's not enough for me.I lost my job and he is supporting me. I am enjoying not working.But it is painful he is doing the same thing he use to do and it still hurt me the same way. But, I am unemployed and enjoy staying at home for the first time in my life. I have two choices -stay with him and continue to be disreapected or leave him and give up valuable time to myself that I love..I am now having problems with low self esteem, lack of confidence and depression.
dianna
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 5/1/2009 5:27:12 AM
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ArticlePost
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My first husband and I reconnected after being divorced for 27 yrs (we had been married for 13 yrs.). He had never remarried. I was divorced for 7 yrs from a failed marriage that lasted 19 yrs.We lived in different states and our communication was either phone calls or emails. All seemed great at first, we communicated about the reasons for our divorce, how we'd both changed, cleared the air, mended a lot of fences, plus forgiving each other, and ourselves.After 4 months, when all 'seemed' to be going great, he started to slip back into his old habit of talking too much about other women. In particular, praising them and placing them on a pedestal. It got to the point that the majority of our phones were about all of the women he'd dated over the years, and one in particular he was still in contact with.Then he began to criticize me as he had during our marriage.I saw the red flags, and yet I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I was also being realistic.I gave a lot of serious thought about being back with him again; and when I weighed the pros against the cons; the cons won out. Both of us being in our "senior" years, and he being on permanent disability with very limited income; it became evident from remarks he made that what he mainly wanted was to move in with me and have me support him since I am still working and making a good salary, and am completely out of debt. Then be began questioning every decision I'd made after our divorce. And he also began to make comments about how he hoped I'd continue working for a long time because if we had to spend too much time together we'd get on each other's nerves. I would have been a fool to go back to him...as it is said, "You can't go home", and I wanted to move forward with my life, not go backwards.Maybe some can remarry an ex spouse and there is a slight chance it may be successful. But I kept remembering that there were serious problems in the first place or we wouldn't have divorced. And in the final analysis, we're still the same people.We have stopped communication and I know I made the right decison to not get involved with him again.
Deanna
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 5/3/2009 6:40:08 PM
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ArticlePost
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Yes..a million times agian
Heather
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 6/1/2009 10:10:06 AM
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ArticlePost
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When I got married in 2002, I knew I had found the "one". We were friends for 4 years, and then we became more. I was in my mid 30's, and have had some bad relationships. So had he. However I let alot of my mother's opionions influenced me during my marriage. I didnt realize it then, that my mother was a very negative person. She thrives on chaos. Instead of talking to my husband, I went to her for advise on my marriage. Big mistake, I just wished I had knew then what I know now. So evidently my husband and I broke up. I was so hurt. I wanted to stay married, but as my mother put it, "Are you crazy?? Are you a glutton for punishment? My pride got in the way also. So did his. I moved away, far away with our son. I tried to hid my hurt by working long hours, but deep down inside I knew that I still loved this man. He would call and we both would argue about things. I could still get under his skin, and he could get under mine's. Years have pass now, and I decided to contact him about our son graduating from 8th grade. He immediately got on the phone and said the wanted to come to the ceremony. To make a long story, he did and I'm glad he did. I was able to speak to him for the first time in several years. I really opened my heart to him and shared my hurt about our loss. I was aurprised to see that he was hurt also. It felt so good to share this with him after all these years. My ex, my son and I had a wonderful time being together this weekend. When I saw my ex this time, the love I had for him when we firt got married was still there. I couldnt wait to sit next to him and feel his presence. He felt it too. I dont know about the future, but I know that it was only "God" that brought this to pass. I dont want to live my life without being with the man I truly love. I have been by myself for 7 years now, and no man has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. Life is too short, so if it's in the cards for us to get back together, I am going to jump at the chance. There is nothing better than LOVE!!!!
Terri
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 6/26/2009 9:44:55 AM
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ArticlePost
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Definately! I married my first husband twenty years ago when I was eighteen and he was twenty-two.We didn't last a year because we were too young, but we stayed friends and still loved each other. He and I moved on with our lives and married other people. We lost contact fifteen years ago. Although we were from the same small town and grew up together, neithe of us contacted the other's family to find out where the other one was and how they were doing.His father past away this past September and I finally made contact with him when I found out. When we spoke, all those old familiar feelings of home came rushing back. He told me that his wife of eighteen years also past away unexpectedly early last year. I on the other hand was going through a divorce. My husband always knew my feelings about my first husband and I had told him that I would go back to him in a heartbeat if the timing was right. Although my marriage ended for reasons not related to my first marriage, the timing turned out to be impecable. His family is thrilled and my family is getting used to the idea. I have not regreted taking the leap of faith with him for a second time. It is the best decision I have ever made. He asked me to marry him the second time I went to see him. I immediately said yes. We always knew it would happen again, although we are not in a hurry.
secondchances
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/21/2009 9:04:52 PM
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ArticlePost
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Would I remarry my ex-spouse? many do I don't I think I would however I would do my best to make peace and be on good terms.
AI
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/26/2009 10:30:36 AM
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ArticlePost
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I'm not against remarrying the ex by any means.
IWIWAL
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/28/2009 1:41:58 AM
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ArticlePost
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I have been married three times. 10yrs 1st,12 yrs 2nd,and 4yrs for the 3rd. I am now back with my first husband.We married young, & neither one of us were ready. We were married for 10 yrs. and have been divorced for 19yrs. We have 3 children, and 6 grandkids. We have been back together for a year now. No wedding plans yet, We want to get to know each other again. We both have growed in 19 yrs. and we have talked about what happened back then. We feel that talking about the past helps us be better people. We have always loved each other, but never said a word until now. Don't keep the past bottled up inside, talk to each other and let the other person know how you feel. they say that there is true love out there. And I believe that. We feel that we belong together, We just had to make different detours in our lives to get back on the right track. I believe God has a plan for everyone. We believe that our lives took the path that lead us back to each other. DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON TRUE LOVE!!!! J.P.
J.P.
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/28/2009 12:58:14 PM
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ArticlePost
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Oh my goodness. I hate to be such a stick in the mud here but many of the people leaving posts here should clearly never, ever get married again to anyone. The second you hear someone use terms like "I'm having feelings" and "it might be love this time" and "if we can grow to be soul mates" then you know they are in for yet another major relationship failure. None of these things have much to do with a successful marriage because they are all based on feelings. Now how many times do any of us have to be married and divorced to learn that feelings come and go, emotions are high and low, opinions of our mates are good and aweful, etc. etc.? Go ahead and listen to your wishy-washy feelings, feel good about "the thought" of being in love, get re-married to whoever, and then check off the days until all of those feelings go away or diminish drastically. Then once again blame this diminishment on your spouse not meeting your needs, or you've just grown apart, or he isn't mature enough for marriage, take your pick. Those are all very poor excuses to cover up the glaring fact that most of us (including me) got married for the wrong reasons or better yet, on the wrong foundation. Who doesn't enjoy the thrill of a new love, or rekindling an old love? We all do. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. BUT see it for what it is...a thrill. Something that can't and won't last for very long. Feelings are the worst indicator of who you should marry or re-marry. Don't waste your life on yet another failed marriage and expect anyone to think you are so naive that you don't know what the real problem is....YOU! You are the common denominator just as much as your former spouses when it comes to a failed marriage. Ladies, time to pull your heads out of your double-standard you know whats and own up to the fact that many of you are TOO mature for marriage. Your expectations (both spoken and unspoken) are way too high for most mortal men to live up to. Still worse, the resentment you allow yourselves to harbor when you finally decide to diminish your expectations in order to cope with your lazy, detached, un-emotional husbands will kill a marriage faster and more surely than infidelity. I hear way too many women complain about how their man didn't turn out to be the kind of husband they thought he would (or should) be. And this even after years of manipulation, near constant nagging, and just about anything else you can think of to MAKE your man the way you want him to be. And then you have the nerve to be upset when you realize you aren't the change agent you thought you were when you first met him. This frustration leads to some bizarre logic that makes your individual happiness more important than your vows, your husband, your kids, and all of that history the two of you spent years building together. Your precious little happiness then becomes the fuel for both emotional and physical affairs with other men, or perhaps other women. And this is supposed to be the man's fault. Right! Men, were aren't any better, and in many ways worse. Why in the world do most of us get married...for sex? For someone to take care of all those pesky domestic things we don't care for? Oh, we get caught up in the feelings as well. Men fall in to the same trap as women when it comes to being in love with the idea of being in love. We just don't often follow through with what it means to really be in love. IT IS NOT A FEELING!!! Love is commitment, love is intentionality, love is action, love is sacrifice. Most of those things rarely feel good and can be downright boring, but like it or not, that's what it is. Men want to retreat in marriage, to escape from as much stress and responsiblity as possible. Why then do we marry women? Sure we want companionship, we want to know the pride of walking in the park with the most special person in the world, all of that. But that's not why you get married. When you dated your wife, did you ask yourself what it would be like to be married to her if she gets in a serious car accident and can't walk anymore? What will she be like with cancer or some other dreaded disease? What about when she spirals into major depression at the loss of a child? Any of that pop into your horny minds before you so romantically espoused your love for her on one knee? No! And it didn't pop into my mind either...but it should have. That's what you need to be thinking about and dealing with if you really intend to get married again to a new and shiny mate or re-married to whichever former spouse you happen to fancy at the moment. For all of you feeling addicts, please don't get married again to anyone. Forget the old adage to try and try again, if you first don't succeed. That isn't a good motto in the marriage department. It cheapens those marriages that really are working and will survive the test of time. Someone used the word "risk" here and that is the best word feeling junkies should paste on their foreheads and see in the mirror every morning. Marriage is loaded with risk because you never really know what he or she will do tomorrow, let alone in 20 years. You have worse odds of making your fourth and fifth marriage work than a heroine addict has contracting HIV from a shared needle. So just don't do it anymore. Date, make new friends, get a hobby, help people in need, learn to cook, fly a kite, just don't keep getting re-married. Your happiness isn't waiting for you in a marriage! Build a bridge and get over it!!!
CB
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/29/2009 2:01:25 PM
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ArticlePost
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My ex and I were married for 2 years..divorced,remarried 2 yrs later for 19yrs,divorced again.We have now been divorced for 4 yrs and he remarried and to my shame I admit he cheated on his wife with me several times..I justified this by believing his lies of how she was cheating on him and he wanted to divorce her.He always said and still says he has feelings for me and always will,I now realise that he does not love me..never has..he needed and needs me..I was his first wife and we have kids and grandchildren..he has a drinking problem (which he still denies) and was unfaithful to me many times but I refused to believe it.I struggled through hard financial times with him, bailed him out of jail,had good and bad times with him.He is now very successful,he left me when the first signs of success started to kick in,I have never had interest in another man because I still love my ex husband but,I have now decided to move on..his wife lives in luxury but he comes to me for advice and to talk about his problems with her,he has never helped me financially but has bailed her ex out of problems..after so many years I finally have come to the conclusion..I am good enough for him when he is down and out but not good enough when things go well..sadly our children have figured this out before I did..like my daughter says,if he ever loses everything..I will be the first one he calls on.They are disgusted with him.He recently admitted to me that he cheated on his wife with other women too but still denies ever having cheated on me,of course,now I don't believe him.After all these years I now have to admit I never knew this man and I feel like a ton of bricks has fallen on me.One lesson I learnt looking back is to never judge..I used to read and hear about women who were married to men for 30 or 40 yrs only to say they never really knew them,I just could not understand this..how can you live with and love someone so long and not know who they really are.The answer?..because someone incapable of deceiving does not comprehend that the person they love is capable of deceiving them.Hopefully I will find someone worthy of my love oneday but if I never do..there's one favour my ex did do for me..I'm not afraid to be alone and I'm an excellent DIY fundi..compliments of a man who was never around anyway and not particularly helpful.
EX
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/29/2009 8:34:16 PM
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ArticlePost
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I would for sure remarry my soon to be ex. it's final in sept. but I am a christian woman and know how hard the devil works. I will continue to pray for him and hope God fills his heart.
Tree
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/30/2009 2:51:36 PM
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ArticlePost
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There's nothing wrong with remarrying your ex.There's also nothing wrong with making peace and being on good terms with the ex.
IWIWAL
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/5/2009 10:28:18 AM
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ArticlePost
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I would, but she would have to repent and put all her faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. We have three children and they need her. I still love her even though she committed adultery. She re-married and I think she has divorced. At least, she no longer lives with the guy. I prayed and have received my children in a custody battle. Now, my prayer is that God will change her heart, make her His, and then restore beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for mourning. I pray that we can be a family again, but this time even better.
Kenny
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