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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 1/3/2010 1:08:29 AM   
J S D J

 

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YES! I definitely am hoping for the day.  I absolutly love him unconditionally, and am trying to win his heart back.  We had to contend with so much dealing with both ex's, custody battles,  his alcoholism. and my anxiety.  I resented the lies and drinking so much that when he had to go to treatment/jail I felt that a divorce was like getting revenge and it was a quick fix to heal a broken heart.  Living without him has made me realize how childish that was and I have matured (i think) and hope that he has changed and can overcome the alcoholism. 
Also, I had a very difficult time understanding that alcoholism is a disease and not a choice.  What can I say... I was bitter and pissed off, it was more than I could deal with at the time.  I want to be his supportive wife, the wife for the second time, supportive for the first time.  It will be lots of work and not without opposition (from ex's and nosey friends and family). 
I don't regret the divorce.  It was what I needed to do at the time.   Although, I wish there was an annullment for divorce. lol
 
Life is too short to not be happy and in love.

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 2/26/2010 9:39:36 AM   
ArticlePost

 

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No way!

Sue

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/9/2010 9:42:17 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I actually proposed to my ex on Christmas Eve 2009! I bought the ring, fixed a wonderful dinner, stood underneath the mistletoe, he kissed me and I got down on one knee and asked him to marry me. See, I was the one who had the affair and instead of admitting what I had done, I ran. It took me a long time to admit to him what I had done. We divorced 5 years ago and were apart 2 years prior. If I was ever down, needed something fixed, or just to talk he was the one I wanted to talk to or to help me. We decided a year ago to get back together and give it another try but walking down the isle again was by far the furtherest thing from both our minds. Until, during the late summer of 2009 we were sitting at the table eating a simple dinner and I just kept looking at him realizing why I loved him all those years before and I wanted to grow old with this man, no one else. I truly believe he is my soul-mate and he never gave up on me. So those of you who are taking the plunge again with their ex ... it just takes a leap of faith.

WVGirl

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/17/2010 10:26:43 AM   
ArticlePost

 

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If I was not 100% sure I never wanted my ex in my life again, I would have never divorced him. Six years later the answer is still No, absolutely Not!

NCgirl

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 4/16/2010 1:38:18 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I was with my ex for 27 married 23. Divorced now 10. I've not remarried. My ex has. 3 or 4 years ago we started talking and now it's a daily acurrance. We are talking about getting back to gether.

marlin

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 5/3/2010 1:42:02 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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To everyone who hopes in having their 1st marriages restored .. It is possible! My husband and I got our marriage restored. After our divorce, I re-married and he was engaged, but it fell through. The path apart was a bumpy road that led us back to the orginal path with each other. Some people might say why would you ever go back to your ex?! He was only my ex, because we didn't fight hard enough for our marriage. We both had to forgive each other for everything. God is now the center of our marriage, as we hold it dear to our hearts to never act so foolishly and let our covenant marriage go! Even when I had re-married, the man always talked about his 1st wife & how much he loved her. There is a special, spititual bond that joins the 1st marriage. I am so happy to be back where I belong, with the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with! Why settle for a cheap imitation...if you can have the real deal?!

MARRIAGE RESTORED

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/1/2010 5:13:14 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I married my dear David after I divorced him last August 13th 2009. We did get back together October 30th 2009 and we missed each other so much and are sorry for the horrible things we did and said and for hurting the children. I missed my family so much that I thought I would die. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. I have a new life..literally.

Marilyn

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/13/2010 6:33:06 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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there is a big difference between marrying the same spouse again, and that 2nd marriage actually working for the long term!

xyz

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/23/2010 3:33:38 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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Sue and I married young and we began to experiance some of life's trials after we married. Our problems began and stayed with us for most of our marriage and would not go away, kind of like a cancer. There are times people will have a mindset and nothing in this world will change it until some "life changing event" in their lives occurs. After being married for 28 years ours was divorce. Divorce was necessary to save our marriage! Marriage truely makes two people one. Your soul is united to the person you had most of lifes memorable experiances with. I believe shame, embarrassment and society's views of divorce and divorced people actually keep many people from re-uniting in their original marriage. Society thinks , "Are they crazy". My ex and I are spending time together after 2 years of divorce. Our problems are more easily understood by each other now from our time apart, and there is some healing to take place and trust restored from things said and done. I pray that all married couples contemplating divorce, and all divorced couples who want to get back together become strong and stay together and learn to enjoy each other through the Grace of God! God Bless!!

Joe

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/21/2010 10:27:23 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I am a trully believer of that. TO have read those comments made me more confident. However I sincerely think that there must have a real change of behaviour, thoghts, views and values in the mind of the person that was the cause of the divorce. Everybody should have a second chance. But Christ has to be in the hearts of both spouses.

elobreeze

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 12/19/2010 8:55:43 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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It was a little over a year ago that I told my husband that I wanted a divorce. We were married nearly 15 years and have 2 children. Our divorce was final this past March. We married young and while I was pregnant with our first child. We went through so many trials and troubles over the years. There was infidelity on both parts and every time we split up we got back together but never really dealt with our problems. We never communicated properly. We held things in. I actually moved in with a boyfriend which ended up being a HUGE mistake. I'm now living with my parents to try to get myself lined back out financially and emotionally. I've learned a lot about myself and what went wrong in our marriage. I regret it daily. I have seen the damage it has done to me, him and our kids. We are discussing getting back together. I look back and see what a horrible selfish person I became and I never want to be that person again. I want my family back. I have learned that God was not the center of our marriage and it should have been. I have learned to forgive and that was probably the hardest thing for me. I have truly forgiven him now and he has me. I vow that if we ever walk down the isle again it will be for the right reasons and for life. I truly believe he is my soulmate and I am doing everything to prove to him that I will never hurt him again. I have seen the damage that my actions and selfishness caused and now we are all in pain. I love him so much it hurts now! I truly hope and pray to God that we can make a go of this.

Jean

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 12/20/2010 9:09:18 AM   
ChristineB

 

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Hi Jean, I wish the very best for you. I think with enough growth and counseling it is possible. The important thing to remember though, is there was a reason it didn't work the first time, so be careful not to fall into the old familar traps.

Good luck!

_____________________________

The Traveling Pendant
My Mom's dying wish....

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 1/11/2011 9:45:18 AM   
ArticlePost

 

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Hi, I was interested to read this thread as I'm a British journalist looking for women who remarried their ex-husband.It's for a Valentine's piece for a quality Sunday magazine. If anybody out there is interested in appearing - you need to be UK-based to be photographed - you can email me direct at helen.gent@tiscali.co.uk

choccie girl

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 1/18/2011 9:15:27 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I divorced my ex in 2008 and quickly entered a new relationship. He was the polar opposite of my ex! I thought I hit gold. But, slowly his true self emerged. Little by little, the flowers, random sweet texts, fun outings, ceased to be. He was not the sweet, humble man I thought I fell in love with but a sarcastic, manipulative, cheapskate who thought he was better than other people. At least my ex showed his true self and said the truth, even if it hurt. I am currently rediscovering the true love of my life.

daisy

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 1/28/2011 6:44:02 AM   
aurora72

 

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Hello,

A guy far away from the US and 39 y.o. I have divorced last year and we had been married just for 2 years.

I 'd like to remarry her for both emotional and logical reasons. Emotionally I love her everything. I picture her face at night and I miss her voice and her very presence. We got divorced too hastily and all for trivial reasons, really. In our marriage there was no cheating, no double-cross, no financial stressing, no bad intention , it was just that we had a number of misdeeds. I guess she knows that and probably she misses me too.

Now I find it too hard to look for another one to marry. It's such a daunting task that I don't even attempt to search. I've got a feeling that it might not work no matter how good, beautiful or wise the second woman might be.

The oldest man in America says this about marriage (at 1:25) He says second marriages never work and I agree.

< Message edited by aurora72 -- 1/28/2011 6:49:06 AM >

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 1/28/2011 1:11:25 PM   
fiery


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Hi aurora72 and welcome to Family Lobby. I'm curious. Do you think your ex feels the same way, that it was for trivial reasons? What's trivial to one person isn't to another.

And I think second or even third time around marriages can work. Most people are still kids when they marry first time and all starry-eyed about relationships. They don't put the work into them to keep the love alive, and/or they grow up more and change as they mature then simply don't want the same things in life anymore. Your goals, outlook and life at 17 is much different from what it is at 27, 37, 47...etc.

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/4/2011 1:48:09 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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After twenty two years of marriage,wife divorced me after two years we are back together,i love her more than everand want to re marry

Bill

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/18/2011 4:52:56 PM   
aurora72

 

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Hi fiery

First, my apologies for being so late to response, but your message was on my mind all the while.

I'm writing from Turkey, a distant country but as long as the marriage and divorce are concerned, things are not so much different.

By "trivial" I meant the kind of things which could be solved, basically. We had unluck caused by third parties, some misdeeds, some smart-aleck people around and our bad reactions to them and being totally selfish all the while. Later I accepted being selfish in our marriage but that didn't save the marriage. It looked like we wanted to be totally free again and the only way to achieve this was a divorce. I was in the middle of founding a new business and because it was based on the Internet, my wife was perhaps unable to see the progress I was making. Now, after 1 and a half year, I've recorded significant achievements on my business and  I managed to do it all alone, without anyone's support.

Several days ago, coincidentally I've stumbled upon my ex-wife on the street for the first time since 15 months! It was a fine moment as I had the chance to tell her that I'm doing well with my life and my business and to express my love towards her brother and her parents and she replied "the feelings are mutual" implying she felt the same. Both of us haven't married with or dated anybody else so far.

Starting a good relationship with a new woman have been a real challenge for me so far though I don't have any kids it's tough. It's not easy to find a good match and I don't feel myself as a single person. I have to search and search and the women I come across are not good prospects. What troubles me the most is that the friends come up with divorced woman to meet me. They think we constitute a good match because we are both divorced. Most of those friends have never divorced in their lives, so they don't understand what it is like to be divorced.

I'd like to surprise people by saying "hey I married with my ex-wife"

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/18/2011 11:08:59 PM   
fiery


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Good to see you back, aurora72. Well, going by what your wife said when you met and assuming your interpretation of it is right, it sounds like she would perhaps be interested in trying again. Why don't you call her and ask her to lunch or something? Nothing heavy, just to get more of a feel how the land lies and what you both want out of life without any pressure. Good luck and keep us posted. :)

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/20/2011 8:47:17 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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I was married for 20 years. We have three children together. We divorced because I found out he had an affair. Although it ended he continued to be friends with her and her husband. I couldn't handle that. So I left. I have regretted it every since. I cried through the whole divorce hearing, refused to sign the divorce papers till my lawyer threatend me with court. I just couldn't bear it. I am still desperatly in love with my ex husband. He calls and/or text me on my birthday, Christmas, valentines day and our anniversary. He tells me he will wait....for what, I don't know. If he intiates the conversation all is good. But if I intiate it, he runs. I feel he is sending me mixed messages. I don't know what to do. I cry all the time. I spoke with my doctor about this and he told me that although he can't tell me why my ex husband had come to see him, all he could say is we are in the same boat. So now I am even more confused. We have two and half grandchildren together. He came to my place to pick up our oldest grandson the other day and we sat and talked about past trips we had taken. After he left with our grandson I knew he was taking him to the local department store so I went to the drug store and bought him a card that said something about thanks for the memories and I found his truck and put it on the front seat. He text me later and said "Thanks, some memories were just yesterday and they can't help but make you smile". I just want to go up to him and say I love you, why are we dong this? But Im so scared...Anyone out there have any advice for me besides counseling? I am starting that in two weeks. Thank you so much for any and all advice...

heartbroken

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