The Pacifier Debate (Full Version)

All Forums >> [News] >> Family Issues



Message

ArticlePost -> The Pacifier Debate (4/10/2008 8:52:19 AM)

New parents often struggle with the decision of whether or not they should give their baby a pacifier. Parents may choose to give their child a pacifier to comfort and quiet them between feedings while others may not want their baby to become accustomed to always having the “binky.”

The Pacifier Debate
http://articles.familylobby.com/202-The-Pacifier-Debate.htm



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (4/10/2008 8:52:19 AM)

I found that pacifiers were essential to helping my son sleep in his first year of life. I would not have survived without them!However, my husband and I abruptly took away all pacifiers and bottles at the age of one year, when our son began using a sippy cup instead. It was a rough few days, but by the end of the first non-binky week he was sleeping blissfully and no longer bothered by it.Many parents I know allow toddlers to use a pacifier until they are 2, 3, or 4 years old. This, to me, is a bit extreme. These children, regardless of what the doctors say, are far behind the other children I've seen when it comes to areas such as talking, interacting, and even normal play. They are also more prone to tantrums.The one-year rule is one that I plan to continue with all of our children. I think it offers the best of both worlds to our children.

Nicole



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (4/10/2008 12:52:53 PM)

"These children, regardless of what the doctors say, are far behind the other children I've seen when it comes to areas such as talking, interacting, and even normal play. They are also more prone to tantrums."Okay, I guess you're an expert because you have one child. My two year old still uses a pacifier to help her fall asleep at night...she usually asks for it about 30 minutes before bed time, about the time she starts getting tired. I see no harm in this. She speaks very well, interacts well with others, and plays quite normally. We plan to ween her off of it soon, but I see no reason to "Abruptly" take a pacifier away from a baby at one year of age.

Mary



fiery -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (4/10/2008 8:03:33 PM)

My own son had one until he was about two and would walk around with one in his mouth and another in his hand in case he lost it. I remember well what it was like not to be able to find one at 2am when you're both dog tired and he wouldn't settle without it. One day he just stopped bothering with it and that was that stage passed. No big drama, no snatching it away... he just moved on to something new. I knew he'd eventually give it up of his own accord and simply bided my time until the day arrived.

I feel every parent needs to do what's right for them. The only guarantee about having a kid is there are no guarantees! If having one pacifier, a dozen or none suits you and your baby, that's fine. Childrearing is hard enough without us criticizing other people's choices if they don't gel with our own. Every child is different and we all as parents just do the best we can.



Yellie01 -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (4/15/2008 10:57:18 AM)

I agree w/ Fiery above. Pacifer use should be determined soley by the parents and caregivers of the child based on what they feel and determine that individual childs needs are. To blankly say that children should only have a pacifier for a certain amount of time is inconsiderate and superfical. It is a generalization to say that because a child uses a pacifier that it makes them developmentally behind. Baloney.  More than likely if the above poster noted that "older children who used pacifiers were more prone to tantrum or to be delayed" it was because they probably already were, not because they had a pacifier. Their parents made the decision to let them to continue to use the pacifier for comfort and to help the child cope.  Taking the pacifier away would not resolve any developmental or behavioral issues but probably worsen them.  What is wrong with determing what is the best for that individual child considering their unique needs, level of development, skills and tempermant what will work best for them. I have one child who clung to his binky until 3 and when we finally put our "foot down" to take it away it really did not help his emotional development and the binky was the one thing he used to comfort himself- he was otherwise developmentaly OK and spoke clearly with his binky in than a few other children his age who did not.  It ended up contributing to other behavioral issues.  Now his younger brother has never wanted a binky but occasionally sucks his thumb (a habit he had in utero since the first Ultrasound pic showed him doing this). Kids need things to comfort themselves and I dont know any teens or adults who use pacifiers or suck their thumb so it is a self resolving issue.



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/1/2009 8:55:54 PM)

I know some people have very strong feelings about this debate. However, I witnessed my niece learning to speak with a pacifier always in her mouth. She is now 7 years old and has since given up the habit of sucking the pacifier. However, she still speaks as if it is in her mouth. It ia almost as if she has to be retrained to speak again. Every child is different, but as an educator, I can only tesify to what I witnessed.

Ingrid



Marlon Jewel -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/2/2009 4:58:55 AM)

Our little girl is 8 weeks old and fusses if we take the pacifier out of her mouth.This is after she has had a bottle,been changed and everything. The minute we put the pacifier in.....baam quiet!! He says she is too young to be addicted to anything.He wants to give it to her when she is happy...I say only to give it to her when she is cranky. What do you think?


Tail Coats



fiery -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/2/2009 9:30:16 PM)

I say give it to her and don't upset her by taking it away. She's barely out the womb, for goodness sake! If it gives her comfort in this strange new world, let her have it. If she still has it at eight years old, not eight weeks, then yeah consider addiction but right now? I'd just let her be content and be grateful for the quiet it brings.



ChristineB -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/3/2009 8:17:34 AM)

We didn't have the pacifier issue, phew...but I agree with kay.  If a small thing like that offers her comfort let her have it.  I don't see anything wrong with them at such an early age.



Thelma -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/14/2009 1:24:33 PM)

All babies have a natural sucking instinct which usually decreases by the age of 6 months.  If you don't give them a pacifier, they will find their thumb.  NORMALLY children will quit sucking their thumb or using a pacifier between the ages of 3-6.

My oldest son used a pacifier but decided on his own around 18 months that he didn't want it anymore.

My two youngest sucked their thumbs because I didn't offer them a pacifier. 

Thumb-sucking can cause dental problems if the child is sucking it past the age of 4.

I was also a thumb-sucker because my mother didn't offer me a pacifier.

If you don't offer your baby a pacifier, he/she will find their thumb.  You can't hide that from them and they can't lose it so it's your choice.[:)]

You cannot compare one child with another.  Each child develops differently.  Ask any physician and they will tell you the same.  Just because one child may start talking later than the other does not make them any smarter than the next child.  My middle son was a late bloomer, it took him longer to walk, talk, etc.... He just graduated high school with honors. 




fiery -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/14/2009 5:59:39 PM)

Congrats to your lad, Thelma! :)

The argument I'd heard against allowing them to use their thumb as opposed to giving them a pacifier was that you can take away a pacifier when you think they're getting too old for it. Obviously you can't do that with their thumb. [:(]

Personally I think they eventually would just lose interest in both as time passed anyway but if I had to choose, I'd give them the pacifier for that reason. 



daone -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (7/26/2009 10:44:03 PM)

Well I am the mother of 4 ages 20, 18, 12, 2 all four had a binky, they all kept the binky until their 2nd birthday, and they gave it up themselves withouth my urging except my now two year old; he still has it. I have to disagree with ArticlePost when she said that the children who have the binky after 2 are far behind. I will use my now 2 year old for example, the binky is more for security than anything else. I gave him a choice at about 10months, you can either give up the binky or give up the pullups, his reply to me was I neeeeeeeeeeeed my fire (binky). Well we have not brought any pullups in 15months and he has had only one accident at night. It doesn't bother us that he has the binky it other people who have a problem with it. And as far as his speech, when talks (which is all the time) he removes the binky out of his mouth.



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/24/2009 6:56:23 AM)

me and my girlfriend have a 2 year old son. My girlfriend always resorts to the binky, as i think that he doesnt need it. I do not like fighting about things that could be as simple as this. So my opinion on the whole binky thing is a good way to get the child off the breast at a young age but after the child is on the bottle the sucky should be thrown away, another question i have is what about the bottle? he is 2 now and i feel that its time to get onto something closer to a cup. I havve friends with kids and some of them are around my sons age and are already drinking out of a cup please help me, what do i do.

anthony



cjrenee22 -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/25/2009 1:50:47 PM)

I am a mother of a 13 year old son and a two year old daughter. Neither my son or daughter ever took the pacifier, and guess what, they also never sucked their thumbs. Some children are apt to suckle, and others really have no desire to.



Thelma -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/26/2009 9:49:34 AM)

ALL babies have the natural instinct to suck (suckle).  They took the bottle or breast didn't they?  Some babies simply need more comfort than others so they search for something to suck on whether it be their thumb, fingers, fist or pacifier.  My niece chose a blanket to suck on.  Each child is different and each one will find their own comfort tool.



dianerene -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/26/2009 1:46:57 PM)

very true - sucking may not be the comfort tool they use, but all children have one.  I personally had many - maybe I was a troubled infant, lol - I sucked my thumb, rubbed a blanket between my fingers and rocked myself to sleep.  my mom says that at one point she had unlocked the casters on my crib and I rocked myself hard enough to block the nursery door with my crib!  (I still have my blanket and I still rock myself to sleep when I am troubled)

I used to work with children in foster care and in my time with the infants I observed MANY ways of children comforting themselves ... some of them bounced themselves so violently that I thought the only way they would find sleep was through pure exhaustion (if not concussion) ... bouncing, rocking, hair pulling, ear pulling, blankets, rubbing their fingers together or stroking their arms or legs ... we all find ways to cope :)



fiery -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/29/2009 5:31:24 PM)

I wonder how many of us have a cup of coffee right beside us and would be upset if someone took that away. We all have our comforts we like. [:(]



dianerene -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (8/31/2009 1:14:47 PM)

exactly, I know no one better touch my coke at any point in the day - or my ipod ;0)  we all need our comforts and sometimes I find myself resorting to old ways of dealing with life even tho I am grown and can express my discomfort.  it just works in a way that other methods never will.



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (10/12/2009 7:52:32 PM)

I am a nanny with a child that is 3 and 1/2 and she is nothing without her pacifier. The situation has made me very frustrated with my job and very unhappy when I'm with this child and the family. The only progression of weening her off the passy has been through my forcefulness and when I leave the family for a few days and come back and she is just as dependent as she was before because of the apathy of the parents and older siblings.The family I work for are family friends and I have had a relationship with the family for many years. There is a large amount of tension over the passy issue and it has strianed the relationship between myself and the child and the parents. This child has a severe overbite, can hardly talk, throughs fits on an hourly basis and has the mentallity of a baby. She has a younger sister with a pacifier and in my personal opinion the younger sister should be getting off the pacifier as well, but both the 3 and 1/2 year old the 1 and 1/2 year old act very similar. I am not against pacifiers completely yet they have caused a big developmental issue for the child and a big source or tension between the family and anyone that takes care of the children of that family.

Raelynn



ArticlePost -> RE: The Pacifier Debate (6/26/2011 9:33:21 AM)

Raelynn,I can totally relate. I've been a nanny for numerous families and pacifiers have been much more of an annoyance than a help. The babies constantly spit them out, and you spend more time finding and replacing them, or even sitting there with your finger "on the button" than they actually spend sucking them. Then, as they get to be much older, it becomes something the child suddenly can't live without and you are in the awkward position of detaching them. But you cannot detach them without the parent's support. It simply will not work. I learned a similar lesson when potty-training. This child was completely ready, and with me would get pretty much potty trained during the week. Then during the weekend the parents would undo everything and he'd be back in diapers by Monday. It was incredibly hard not to get mad at the parents; in 1 or 2 days they would undo a whole weeks worth of potty training, even though they said the supported my efforts. In fact they ended up setting back the whole process nearly a year, and what had started out as a very easy and normal process became a near war between me and the child. I knew for a fact that this child could use the potty, but with the parents it became a power struggle that they kept losing, so suddenly I was a bad guy too. In the end, though, it was not my child, and I should have accepted that the parents were simply not as "into" the potty training process as they claimed to be. If the parents don't support you with their actions then there is no use forcing it. You'll just get frustrated and strain your relationship with everyone involved.

JM



Page: [1]