Display name  | |
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 12/5/2010 6:35:46 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I discoverrd my husband was cheating when he got a call midday n then a text. Texted back:"im with someone". That night after his shower, i caught him checking his fone and hurriedly putting it down when he saw me enter the room. He had been in an 8month relatinship n swore no others. Found out after review of cell phonea logs that he was in constant communication with our daughter's classmate's mom. Yes...yet a other
Sad Sister
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 1/17/2011 11:36:43 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
LOL. Women stay with a cheating husband because after the anger and shock and threats and emotion, they're stuck. What are they gonna do? Get divorced and start supporting themselves???LOL Those smart enough to marry rich and up get their money and leave.....done. Those that can't are f'd.
tim
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 1/18/2011 8:38:18 PM
|
|
|
fiery
Posts: 5730
Joined: 11/4/2007
Location: in front of my computer
Status: offline
|
Why would you think women are incapable of getting divorced and supporting themselves? You're dreaming, tim, if you think that holds women back from leaving. Women do it every day to men like you that think it will never happen because they have a distorted outlook on how divorce works. They can get a job and a place just as easy as any man can, and remember, there's the divorce settlement plus child support if they take the kids with them as well. Women don't leave the courtrooms empty-handed after putting years into a marriage and it doesn't matter whether they have ever worked a day in their life outside the home. And any pensions, 401K contributions etc, you've made towards retirement during your marriage? That's a marital asset too and divided up too along with the other assets. Women don't need to put up and shut up nor marry rich to be able to get out of a bad relationship and move on. All they need to be able to do is find a lawyer.
< Message edited by fiery -- 1/18/2011 8:44:29 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 2/3/2011 2:28:59 PM
|
|
|
trusty
Posts: 1
Joined: 2/3/2011
Status: offline
|
My husband is having an affair with a woman we have both known for as long as we have been married. This is not the first affair he has had with her. Before she was married they had a strong friendship ( no sex) and I believe my husband was in love with her. She used my husband to bait her boyfriend into asking her to marry him. Years go by and she has marital problems resulting into separation. My husband and she have an affair. When I find out I expose the situation to her husband as well as to my own husband. Since she was hoping to get back with her husband she at the time blamed me for ruining her chances to get back with husband. My husband was very remorseful about the affair and I was grossly hurt. My husband vowed to make it up to me for the rest of our lives. Years have gone by and she divorced and remarried. Her 2nd husband died of cancer. Now my husband and she are having an affair again. My husband finally admitted to the affair after being caught texting her. After days and days of talking, my husband will not stop the affair. He says he is so happy having us both. States he has no intention of leaving the marriage. He says he is well aware he is married and home comes first always. He has not gone to see her in 3 weeks since I confronted him. I am quite aware he will she her again. He has also been making monthly payments to her to help her out. He also says he gives no false hope that he will ever leave his wife. He further stated that having the affair helps him to be more understanding and to cope with the marriage. The women has asked him to lie to her when she needs to feel secure. For instance (are you having sex with your wife) lie because it will make her feel better. I have cried to myself, gotten mad, detested him and the list goes on. Some days I feel like I want a divorce and other days not. He is a good man otherwise, EXtremely financially responsible, will talk, even though I disagree with what he says about the situation. He is good around the house and loves me dearly otherrwise. I am on an emotional roller coaster and can not come to gripes as to how I want to feel.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 3/7/2011 12:53:47 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
BEEN MARRIED TO A POLICE OFFICE FOR 20 YEARS. HE TOLD ME I WAS HIS WORLD AND THERE WOULD NEVER BE ANY OTHER WOMAN BUT ME FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 10 YEARS DOWN THE PATH HE RUN FOR SHERIFFS AND ALL KINDS OF WOMEN FLOCKED AT HIS CAMPAIGN DINNERS. I TOLD MY FRIENDS I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY HUSBAND HAVING AN AFFAIR. HE WAS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH ME. YEAR 2000.HE WORKED A LOT AND I WORKED A LOT ON HIS CAMPAINE PLUS OUR JOBS...TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE DID HAVE AN AFFAIR. THIS LADY WAS BROUGHT TO HOUSE AS A PLANNER FOR HIS CAMPAIGN AND HELPER. I WAS VERY RESPECTFULL TO HER. IT WASNT TILL 2006 REALIZE THS ROUMERS WERE TRUTH. HE DINIDED THEM...ALSO 2006 HE HAD ANOTHER AFFAIR. I CAUGHT HIM THIS TIME WITH HIS OWN CELL PHONE...AND WENT TO HER HOUSE...LEFT HIM FOR ONE YEAR...I AM A CHRISTIAN AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO HANDEL THIS SITUATION. STILL NOT ADMITTING TO THE FIRST AFFAIR. I DECIDED TO GO BACK. WE HAD A VOWELS RENEWED AND STARTED OVER...THEN IT CAN TO LIGHT THE AFFAIR HE LIED ABOUT CAME OUT TO BE ALL SO TRUE...HE CONFESSED, AND I STAYED. BIG MISTAKE. HOW CAN A MAN TAKE IS VOWELS TWICE AND STILL BE LYING TO HIS WIFE...I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER THIS AND IV REALLY TRIED...PRAYED, HAD FAITH. IT JUST WILL NOT LEAVE MY MIND THAT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND DID THIS TO ME KNOWING WHAT THE REPERCUSSION COULD BE. HE BROKE MY HEART! DISTROYED PLANS OF OUR HOUSE TO BE PAID OFF IN 2015. AND I CANT GET THE TRUST BACK NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY OR HE TRIES. AS FAR AS I KNOW HE IS A CHRISTIAN NOW AND CAN BE TRUSTED, BUT I HAVE A WALL UP SO HE CAN NEVER EVER HURT ME AGAIN. AND THE SEX, ITS OVER....IM 63 AND HES 62. I REALIZE I SHOULD HAVE NOT RETURNED BUT WAS GOING BY WHAT HE TOLD ME WAS THE TRUTH THIS TIME...MY LOVE, RESPECT AND BEST FRIEND IS GONE. WE HAVE BOTH HAD TO RETIRE DUE TO BAD BACK PROBLEMS. I FEEL THERES NO WAY OUT AND IM DEVASTATED, HURT,DISCUSSED, THAT A MAN WOULD MARRY ME, TELL ME IM THE HIS WORLD AND GO OUT AND LIE TO ME AND COMMITT THIS HURTFULL SINS KNOWING THAT EVENTUALLY I WOULD FIND OUT.. I DONT HATE HIM, BUT THERE IS NOTHING THERE! GONE. WE ARE LIVING AS ROOM MATES, NO SEX ONLY BECAUSE HE LIED THE SECOND TIME. NOW HE TREATS ME WONDERFUL BUT I FEEL ITS WAY TO LATE AND IT DOESNT MEAN A THING. HE WAS RAISE BY HIS MOTHER AND NO FATHER AROUND.VERY IMMATURE AND NEGATIVE IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE..I DONT KNOW WHY IM STILL HERE. IM UNHAPPY BUT TYING TO SAVE A MARRIAGE THAT IS I BELIEVE UNREPAIRABLE. I COPE WITH THIS EVERY DAY...HE GOES ABOUT LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED...DO I TRUST HIM....NO NEVER WILL....HE WAS A GREAT POLICE OFFICE BUT A VERY BAD HUSBAND. I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE RIPED MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST AND IV NEVER BEEN THE SAME, BUT HAVE TRIED...I KNOW ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD AND THAT SEEMS TO BE WHAT IM WAITING ON. BUT IM SURE AM LONELY AND A BROKEN LADY....
Barbara
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 3/12/2011 2:49:43 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
It is true that we need to forgive, but that does not mean we need to continue to associate with the person that hurt us. Call it a day and move on!
sharon
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 3/28/2011 4:52:42 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
He has cheated on you, and you have just discovered your husband has had a long term relationship with someone else. You have children, you are devastated and your primary response is to keep him. Ladies, think long and hard before you decide to give this man another chance. You will never know the real truth about this man, only what he has told you, and you have convinced yourself to believe the fabricated story you have created in your head about their relationship. This is not real. The truth is in most long-term affairs, feelings, very deep feelings for the two involved happen. ...and sometimes love. If he has convinced you he wants to work it out, that is only because of financial ties, children, and family pressure-not because he loves you. He will always think of the other woman and hope they will have a chance to be togther again in the future. You and him had a fair chance to be togther, you were able to date freely, go on vacations, spend time togther openly, unlike the woman he fell in love with, and the bottom line is that he strayed from you for a reason he will only know. Does he love you? Did he ever love you? Has he fallen out of love with you? He will never regret what he did, although he will tell you that he does. The truth of the matter is, the days he spent with this other woman were probably the best days of his life, so much so that he risked everything to be with her. He will always think of her and want her. He will never respect you the same way, because he fooled you into staying married. It will only be a matter of time until he will do it again. Unlike what society likes to believe, (she`s a whore, he is a sleeze etc.) usually long-term affairs genuinely happen to good people who have become vulnerable, who have children and stay in their marriages because they feel their no way out, are very unhappy, and have fallen out-of-love in their marraiges. You need to ask yourself, do I want to spend the rest of my life with a man that stayed married to me for all the wrong reasons? Give yourself time before you decide you want to give this man another chance.
Baytta
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 3/31/2011 4:59:05 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I have been married for 27 yrs. and i found out my husband was cheating on me on the internet with his first sweet heart. i found on hes cell i found a text from her saying where are i need you so much in these moments my love. i confronted him and told him choose her or me and told him to call her in that moment and finish with her right there in front of me in the fone i wanted to see him do that since he said no i choose you bcause i love you well he said to me he was going go fix that problem and finish with her the next day. but he never did. i used to be fat i lost 40 lbs. and everybody said i looked good. anyways my heart is broken he tells me i'm so sorry i love i wont do these to you anymore dont leave me but sometimes he hides hes fone. i told him that god have been my support in these difficult situation i have 3 grown up kids by the way. any ways i told him i'been praying to god and he has been listening bcause i feel better. and i told him i was going to thank him.and that i was going to the jehova witness kingdom hall and he got upset later and asked me to choose between that religion or him and that i chose that religion it was going to b alright that he would let me do whatever but he didnt wanted part on it and there was going to be separation or divorce and not to think that bcause of that he would go back with that woman that that was cone and over with but i dont trust him. i trust jehova god not my husband
broken heart
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/7/2011 10:07:05 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
@bayttaI swear reading your post was a God send. It's like you were directly speaking to me. It's like you knew my situation EXACTLY and finally said what I needed to hear but was afraid to accept. I mean seriously, how do you have an affair with a woman this long and not be in love??!! I finally got it...he's not in love with me...he's in love with her. He's just sticking around because that's what he thinks he should do...what he feels he must do as to not break up his family. I don't know why I didn't see it after 17 years. I thought, "It must be something I did" , "Maybe I'm not enough". But it's not really about me. He's in love with another woman and no matter how much it hurts me to say it, it's the truth. I am now finally FREE. I can let him go. We can now both go and live the lives we're meant to. Thank you.
I'mfreenow
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/7/2011 10:13:41 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
@timI'm sorry but you sound young...and dumb.
I'mfreenow
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/8/2011 12:31:32 PM
|
|
|
ChristineB
Posts: 3732
Joined: 12/7/2007
Status: offline
|
Ouch
_____________________________
The Traveling Pendant
My Mom's dying wish....
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/14/2011 12:16:19 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
Wow Tim, I'm happy I am not anywhere around you...how backward your thinking is ...LOL. If you are depending on that to keep a wife by your side after infidelity, you are really delusional. I have left with what amounted to be nothing...got a fabulous job and made more money than my x-husband....it worked out great for me and I never looked back. You are ridiculous.
Sophia
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/17/2011 9:36:20 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
so my husband has an affair, during which at that time I was caring for my ailing father and aunt. I also was working 40 hours a week.....my result at 50 I have a heart attack..... he tells me after I become suspicious while at home recovering. I am devastated. we have been married almost 30 years. the most recent affair happened last year. he had another affair when we were only married 5 years.... i had just given birth to our beautiful daughter.... do I see a trend.... don't be fat, don't help any one else or i will cheat. the latter one he swears no sex the first one he told me the same... the other night we were talking about them....he informs me he did have sex with the first one...okay midnight confessions after 25 years of denying he did. so now i'm to believe he didn't have sex this last time? my self esteem is so low right now. considering the devastation of my health, peri menopuase and weight gain..... how can i even beleive he wants me. if i have any ailments i won't let him know as i am afraid he will step out again. I know i need to get in shape which will one improve my health and self esteem. it is getting the motivation now to get moving out of this deep well i hear myself self telling my self to move move but i am stuck.
Devastated
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 4/29/2011 6:27:28 AM
|
|
|
ScottJames
Posts: 12
Joined: 4/14/2011
Status: offline
|
Hoping that one day he will comeback and for that moment he will only for her.
_____________________________
California divorce - Divorce papers for colorado
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 5/5/2011 3:53:20 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
Im have been ponding for this day not to come. How do i deal with it and being pregnant with his child. I found out that he cheated on me with my friend. How i found out about it. Was she come to my door asking to talk with him. Than out of know were. She says are you going to tell her or am i going. I knew right than and there. They had sex with each other. two different days. It was when i was sleeping. But before that he had went to her house and talk with her and than he left. Im not sure what to do at this point. He says he is not going to do it anymore. That if i need to see that he is telling the truth and being honest. I dont understand he said he his never done this before to any of his ex girlfriend. just not sure what to do.
Lindsey
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 5/6/2011 10:54:34 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I have been married for 30 1/2 years and my husband cheated on me. I am trying to stay with but I have this need to know. I found emails they wrote back and forth which makes you believe they had sex. My husband swears that they never had sex. I want to frogive him nd get our marriage going in the right direction but one thing is holding me back. The I need to know. While he keeps saying nothing happened I feel like he is still lying. What do I do?????
maria
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 5/7/2011 12:55:07 AM
|
|
|
fiery
Posts: 5730
Joined: 11/4/2007
Location: in front of my computer
Status: offline
|
Lindsey and maria, welcome to you both to Family Lobby. Have either of you considered seeking out a counselor (and going alone if need be) so you can talk to someone impartial?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 5/9/2011 1:20:55 AM
|
|
|
frmeital
Posts: 1
Joined: 3/10/2011
Status: offline
|
There are many reasons for staying after cheating..every marriage or relationship is different, and sometimes they can be healed it if done the right way and you get the right help. My marriage survived and affair and I know it sounds strange but now it's better than ever. I wrote about it in my blog you can take a look and maybe it will help...hang in there...
affairs marital blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 5/9/2011 8:33:22 AM
|
|
|
ChristineB
Posts: 3732
Joined: 12/7/2007
Status: offline
|
That's true too. I am a firm believer in a neutral party offering help and guidance but yes it can be done.
_____________________________
The Traveling Pendant
My Mom's dying wish....
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 6/1/2011 1:38:48 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 2043
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
My husband cheated on me 4 times all which I was pregnant with our children I love him but I don't know what to do I don't even want to be intimate with him I feel gross having to share and then his excuse is why he cheats because I'm not intimate. What do I do?
Sarah
|
|
|
|
|
|
Printable Version
