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ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (3/17/2009 10:31:19 PM)
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To mom of 3 sons: I am very happy that I can help even if it is just a word or two of encouragement. The only way you are going to believe him is by his actions, what does he do when you are upset about the situation? Does he get defensive or does he play the "I know, I know" game...turn the tables on him and give him the "cold shoulder" for awhile. Let him "think" you can manage without him, maybe that will scare the hell out of him. Sometimes a shock will set them straight! Take yourself out of his "game" and start doing things for yourself with your kids and sometimes without. Let him wonder what YOU are doing...I'm not encouraging you to do something wrong, just mysterious to him. From what I read you don't have any of your own friends or family within a close range to talk to, that bites! It's like he basically has you where he wants you... ALONE! Nobody to turn to when you need somebody. Is he a control freak by chance? Your stuck at home to take care of the kids and house and he has free roam to come and go as He pleases, kind of a "do as I say, not as I do" person? I hope not cuz honey that personality is an issue in itself. Majority of the time they will lead you to believe that they have stopped the cheating, just so you let your gaurd down and think things are going fine, and be right back at it again...I hope like hell this doesn't happen to myself, but I am not letting my gaurd down just yet, and don't plan to anytime soon! Just be cautiuos of the showering of gifts, or the "things seem to good to fast situations...I have that feeling that he is taking you for grantit, that you will always be there no matter what, that is why I say you have to do things for yourself and let him wonder if you even need him. I certainly did...I had an apartment rented out for just the kids and I and had lead him to believe I was moving on, (which is what my plan was) believe me it wasn't easy 23 yrs with the same person is not easy to get over and move on, considering I'm only 38 yrs. old. I did what I had to do, what I felt was right for myself and the kids! I cried the whole time I filled out papers for public assistance, and child support. I kept making excuses for him and blaming myself, but in actualality, it was him, not me that messed us up. Sure it takes two, if that slag was laying on my doorstep dying of thirst or starvation, I would shut the door in her face, that's how much I hate that so called person...I would even drive by her if she had gotten into a serious car accident and needed help. Something I would have to answer to at the "Pearly Gates" but right now, it's justified! See how easy it is to let the bitterness take over, and to let the floodgates swing w-i-d-e open. Not something that I want to happen but it does, and you can't NOT let it happen, your only human...it's only natural to have those feelings, and hatred feeling towards another person(s). Believe me there are times I look at him and want to inflict equal amounts of pain on him as he did me, but two wrongs don't make a right! You need to take a step back and figure out if you foresee this situation ever getting better or if you need to take the next step and remove yourself and kids from this heartache. Hope to hear from you again soon...hang in their babe, and know that I am here for you! P.S. I think I would even remove her from her car and leave a couple of size 9 bootprints on her butterface! Just a bit of bitter humor...but I wouldn't put it past myself to actually do it! Haa take that *****!!!!
S L
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