Display name  | |
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 10/10/2009 11:00:24 AM
|
|
|
Sleepy Nurse
Posts: 2
Joined: 10/8/2009
Status: offline
|
Hi, my husband confessed that he cheated on me a year ago. At that point we just moved to a new city; about to close on a new house; started new jobs; my daughter was just starting kindergarten. The news was devastating. And since then, I believe I've been in depression. I used to be pretty outgoing; people oriented; joyful; fun; and enthusiastic. This year, i've become withdrawn, discouraged; gained weight; and hopeless that my marriage will change. He wanted to work things out in our marriage but I've really had a hard time emotionally dealing with this. Some days I feel thankful about having stayed together; other days I'm still angry and hurt. I guess for the most part, I'm still hurt. We'd been married 15 years when this happened. Since then, I've had well meaning friends tell me that a marriage is 2 people and that I need to take responsibility for my part in it. I've had some tell me that I need to work harder at keeping him (which the first 3 months after the confession I lost 15 lbs; bought new clothes; changed my hair and really worked hard on my attitude being willing to forgive) except now I look back and I realize I'm the one who did those things; bought marriage books and read them; set up counseling times for our marriage;
i guess I just feel tired. He buys me flowers every week and texts me daily to tell me he loves me but somehow it just doesn't feel like it's enough for me.
Only a handful of people in our lives knows about his cheating. I haven't felt like I've had anyone to talk to. I feel pretty lonely. I feel empty. I think on a deeper level, our communication is a weakness in our marriage. I've tried so hard for years to talk with my husband and draw him out but he's not very open and just wants to believe that things are going okay. He told me that he went to this other woman b/c she listened to him; made him feel special and alive; she made him feel appreciated. He said that he felt criticized by me and put down; that I didn't appreciate him and he didn't think I cared. That really hurt me especially when i asked so many times how he was doing and what could I do but so many times he didn't want to talk to me. I believe he went to another woman b/c she didn't know him like I did and wouldn't tell him the truth about himself. I realize that there was responsibility on my part but this year I feel like he should have taken more responsibility than he had for what he did. Our marriage feels superficial and I'm at a point where I think perhaps it might be a good idea to leave.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 10/11/2009 9:39:56 AM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
Sleey Nurse,It sounds as if you are spiritually "sleepy". If your husband is showning a change, then embrace that God has awoken him out of his sinful state. Please check out rejoiceministries.org. There you can navigate through testimonies and listen to other people who have had their marriages completly restored - to God be all the Glory!! GOD Bless you! DON'T LEAVE ~Keep pressing on - FOR HIM and all else will fall into place!
Ruth
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 10/24/2009 2:39:55 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I found out my husband was cheating on me when i found a pic he sent to his email! i also found phone numbers of 2 woman one i now know was a friend the other was the one He told me because I had the wrong one he didnt get caught!I kicked him out he was gone 4 a week living @ work he came back said nothing happend and we went to therapy the only thing is for the time we were in therapy he didnt tell us he was cheating I knew o when the daycame I went to his job he told me he had to be in a hour early so i left before him when i called him he was mad i asked if he was at work he said yes i didnt see the car so i keept looking well i saw the car and at first felt like wow thank god i was wrong then i turned the coner and there he was in her arm's now were in with a new dr and its been almost 4 months and i dont think im going to make it i hate the way i feel e took something from me the only thing is i have 3 kids and i dont work!!!!Now im trying to find a job and truth would love to let him think i want to make it work and then say goodby!I never saw it coming i was the one who i think gave to much sex 2 or 3 times a day and yes even if it was that time of the month cooked cleaned and was always dresses makeup on no matter what now I want to know how can you be so happy and tell someone u love them look them in the face a go b with another????40 an stupid is what i was and will never be again.....
Tricia
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 11/1/2009 3:21:01 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I have been married for 32 years. I caught my husband running around about 12 years ago. My life has been upside down every since. At the time our children were 14 and 15 the times of there life that they need there father the most. My son had started using drugs and I felt he really needed his father, so I stayed. It was a very hard decision to make. Time rocked on and our daughter was in her freshman year in college. I told my husband that I was going to visit her but I got a PI to watch him and yep he did it again with a friend of mine. Because my daughter was in college and we were still battling my sons drug problem I stayed. That was 6 years ago. I can't stand to be near him and he knows it I think the only reason he stays if he does not want to divide assets. January I plan on leaving him after Christmas. My son has been clean from drugs and has made a complete turn around with his life. I have had enough of trying to mend fences that can't be fixed. Not to mention he admitted having prostitutes for years come to our business and have sex with them after the help left and would tell me he had a lot to do.
jan
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 11/2/2009 12:15:43 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I came to this site looking for understanding of how and why this could happen.After 31 years of being together I now sit in the position of not knowing what to do , knowing also that he is cheating and if I leave I 'm the one who will lose and this other person will gain everything that I'v worked so hard to have these past 31 years.
judy
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 11/8/2009 9:18:00 PM
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I suggest u hold on if ur heart tells u to because theres no man that is faithful and perfect.U should continue to be faithful to him and protect ur self by using condoms and ensure u take ur monthly check up at the Dr.office
Candy Aaron
|
|
|
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
[Awaiting Approval]
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands - 11/10/2009 2:48:54 PM
|
|
|
ChristineB
Posts: 2017
Joined: 12/7/2007
Status: offline
|
Ouch. I couldn't disgaree more! There ARE men who don't cheat. I do agree that no one is perfect but trust is a cornerstone. Don't jeopardize yourself in anyway. I am actually shocked to hear advice like that. Wow.
_____________________________
http://www.fourleafclover.us
writing, a different wave of life....
|
|
|
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
[Awaiting Approval]
|
|
|
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
[Awaiting Approval]
|
|
|
|
|
|
ArticlePost
Posts: 1008
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline
|
[Awaiting Approval]
|
|
|
|
|
|
Printable Version
