Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands

Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (Full Version)

All Forums >> [News] >> Family Issues

Message

ArticlePost -> Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (4/24/2008 9:16:29 AM)
We see her on the news, in the flash of cameras, a well-dressed attractive, women standing beside her husband as he addresses the media. With sad, haunted eyes, she hears her husband state that he has been unfaithful to her. Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands http://articles.familylobby.com/543-Why-Women-Stay-With-Cheating-Husbands.htm

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (4/24/2008 9:16:29 AM)
Wow! Did this writer read my mind or what? My husband cheated and I stayed because I saw a man who was basically a good father and a good friend. Our marriage is workable. DeeDee

Lisa -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (4/24/2008 12:40:34 PM)
But what if he cheated again? I just am not sure how I would feel. Would it get to the point where I accept his cheating ways or ignore it.

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (4/27/2008 10:39:49 PM)
DeeDee I agree with you, this writer knows her stuff. But I totally agree with the once only. if it ever happens again I think I would have to be out at that point. Losi

ChristineB -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (4/29/2008 6:54:15 AM)
I agree too, but easier said than done. I have found when that happened to me I was either to blind to see it again, or in total denial of it happening.

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (6/18/2008 2:05:50 AM)
I left, at 70 years of age , the new pills for old men are kiling marriage and the women in them. And the men start to get dangerous to live with.They want you out of their way , and not by divorce, where they have to half their money.I had to leave to save my life. Sue

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (8/20/2008 5:44:47 PM)
hi ladies,my husband cheated with my friend the first night he met her in my home,after i had gone to bed .They continued this for three yrs ,i knew nothing.Until i got a wart.He triied every which way to deny it .I had a break down lost 6 kilos in two weeks from not eating.I stayed because I was in deep shock and couldnt do anything ,It was like he had died in and i was grieving,which is what the doctor said and thats how it felt.A few moths late and im still not much better,I find out he slept with my sister a few yrs back also,now i was starting to wonder about the time id found dockets from a shop with perfume and baby products that had been bought ,but he knew nothing,.Now i wondered if hed ever ben faithful or loved me .Im a mess Ive thought of suicide Ive thought of doing something to them,i believe in god and my children keep me going.My husband swears he loves me but i cant think straight anymore.When I tell him to leave and he goes I get ill and start vomiting,I cant brath I feel so awful.I am still with him but I feel totally crushed,but cant let go please somebody help me,if you can. wendy

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/1/2008 5:19:55 AM)
hi wendy,we got the same fate,everything,the only thing that keeps me going is tru prayers and my kids,offer it all to God,Trust in him completely,Its so hard but its the only thing we can do.I pray that someday all be well for us.God bless! marisse

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/1/2008 6:17:24 PM)
I've been with a married man for 12 yrs now, he says he loves me and the wife (they will be together 16yrs), she has found out about us 5 times in the 12 yrs. She lives in denial and goes back to believing whatever he tells her, he tells me he'll leave her when the kids get older which when we started the affair there were no kids, she got pregnant to hold on to him. I wish I could leave him and try to find someone that wanted just me and only me. He has a hold over me and the wife that I can't seem to break, I do love him but yet get very upset with myself for staying with him, I know there will never be a future for Joe and I. Jane

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/4/2008 7:11:34 AM)
My husband went to Maine with 5 friends and they were at a bar for three nights, I knew he cheated on me, he said it just happened, he had no reason, it just happened he said he made a big stupid mistake and he was so sorry, it took him 3 days to finnally admit it to me, now, I feel violated, we have been married for 36 years, he's 56 I'm 55, when does the hurt stop, he swore to me it was the first time, he said he went to strip clubs and stuff and had lap dances but never cheated, I do beleive him, I give him everything, I keep myself in good shape, I dress well, I make love to him almost every day,or at least 4 days out the week, I wear sexy clothes, I cook, and he had no reason to look elsewhere, they say men stray when there not haappy at home, we were very happy, what happened? There are no calls on his cell phone, I know he loves me, I know he doesn't have a girlfriend, he never made any excuses working late out of town never, was it just a stupid mistake, I still love him and he is trying so hard to make this up to me, but I hurt so bad, its so hard to look at my girls, I have 2 girls 30 and 34. I have 2 grandchildren 9 and 6. It hurts when I hear my daughter say, mom,we want to be just like you and dad, they just celebrated there 2nd anniverary, we do everything together, same interests, what happened??? I'm so hurt Anna

Ishcaboo -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/8/2008 8:36:09 PM)
Anna, would you be interested in what an ex cheater has to say as to why?

ChristineB -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/9/2008 6:46:52 PM)
I would...

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/9/2008 7:59:55 PM)
To Wendy,You wrote your story so well....and it happened just that way to me, too. I felt the same shock. It is a form of post traumatic stress, no doubt about it. I have been married 30 years, and dated my husband for five before that. I wasn't ready to marry right away at 25, so I held off. I dated others, too. But I began to love only him. He was wonderful. Everything a woman would ask for. He was funny, friendly, cutsie with me, wonderful and helpful as a father, nice to everyone, cooked, bought great gifts for me (now I wonder about that), you name it. But he seemed to invoke un-ease in me sometimes. I was never a jealous person, but something about him brought it up in me a bit. I felt it for over 25 years in the pit of my stomach. It was insidious the way it wore me down. It robbed me of my smile. Nothing I could put my finger on. He'd just laugh it off. Here, he'd been cheating most of the marriage. He was a cop by the time we got married, and it was before the days of cell phones or pagers or having two cars. I would never have followed him, anyhow. I did love him. A woman somehow knows that SOMETHING seems wrong, but maybe doesn't know for sure, so goes into denial. Heck, there's the family, babies and the house etc. He was just not home all the time. He worked shifts. I was lonely, but in it for the long haul. I had no idea he was with other women on the job. He said it was during those monthly platoon card parties; barmaids and cop groupies. I had no idea women went to them. Here's me ironing his shirts and getting him all ready for those parties. What an idiot. Once I even sent him a belly dancer as a joke to one of them, while I was pregnant!!!! How stupid!!! It came to light, or I decided to finally see it, at a picnic in 2001, I was in my mid-50's and he could not take his eyes off a younger woman there. I had NEVER seen him look at anyone like that in all the time I knew him. Then he started showing up at the store where she worked "just to shop". It hit me like a ton of bricks because until that day, I had never seen him look at anyone in that long-gazing way. I confronted it and told him I knew he'd had affairs (I didn't really know,I just said it) and to just confess it because I was leaving him either way. He did and I was emotionally sick from that day forward. It's been over 6 years of being sick to death. I have never been the same. He didn't want to leave. I did finally have a "last straw" when some woman from his past job sent him a Christmas card and it sounded more than just friends. Even when we were having problems....more women!! So many women and I never really got jealous. I thought they were just friendly and nothing else. As always he would say it's not HIS fault they call him, etc. I divorced him. He STILL would not leave. I didn't force him out, either. I didn't want all the expenses. After a year of just living with him and trying to date a bit, he convinced me to remarry him. I did, but I

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/9/2008 8:25:06 PM)
To Wendy,...and you are right, it does feel like someone you treasured, has died. You do not know it now, but the terriblness of this does eventually pass, though it takes a long time. It's hard to wrap your mind around it now because it's too big to grasp, but you do get to a point of living through it. I am just beginning to get ahold of myself over it after 6 years. I felt so traumatized that even counseling didn't sink in. But I am very glad I was finally able to get past the worst. It is worth it...Linda lkmagiccity

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/9/2008 8:40:03 PM)
To Wendy,I lost more of what I had written, but in essence, now, I read fun books, I take fun vacations with him...just focusing on brighter things. I am a nurse, and I still work. I am trying to pack in some good memories into my mind again. I can't change what has happened, my old family photo's seemed ruined to me for a long time, but I don't want to give my whole life to this. My children in those photo's had nothing to do with this, so I can look back at them again. It's not what I wanted or thought I had, but the pain has eased up considerably and I am so much better. You will be, too. Him? Well, nothing seems to have bothered HIM so much. He just goes on like nothing has happened. After all...it didn't HAPPEN to him!...Linda lkmagiccity

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/10/2008 1:17:23 PM)
Ishcaboo, yes I would be interested Anna

Ishcaboo -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/14/2008 4:45:27 PM)
I'm really surprise that anyone would want to know what a guy who has cheated on his wife has to say. I know as I write this that there are no married women will accept it with the sincerity I have in typing it. Well, here goes. I think when a married man cheats it is never about his wife, not about what she looks like, how nice she is to him, how she sexually satisfies him or any thing at all unfavorably about her. It may be a desire to have a one time sex act with someone else. But it's just sex!! No emotions: no soul sharing; no commitment; no promises. A set of circumstances and temptations could create a moment of arousal, a desire of a just this one time won't hurt anyone attitude. Just a physical temporary act for which he probably will later be sorry. It though it may not matter to you wives, but a single act is what I'm talking about. An ongoing affair is entirely different. I think an ongoing affair is definitely a break down of trust for which the husband should not expect his wife to forgive or forget. [censored] So, give us guys a break. One act of cloudy thoughts, or not thinking about the affect it might have on others should not destroy a marriage. I'm not making excuses. Just trying to ask understanding about how such single acts can happen. And I am your friend. Mod Note: Please make sure your posts are suitable for everyone as the forum caters to children from age 13+.

dianerene -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/14/2008 5:30:18 PM)
I have heard this excuse before, and to me it is still an excuse. thank you for your bravery in sharing it, but I have to ask you this ... if it were YOUR WIFE that stepped out of the marriage and cheated, would YOU accept this explaination? honestly?? when you agree to marry someone, when you take that step, you are (IMO) saying that you will no longer think only of yourself. you become a part of something bigger, and that part can, and will, be affected by the decisions you make each and every day. when I married my husband, I gave him a part of me. I trust him with my heart and my secrets and my fears. for him to go out and have a 'single act' of anything that we have agreed is cheating, is a violation of that trust. and beyond that, it's not a mistake! it's a conscious decision to break that trust! you don't just stumble into someone and say "oops! we just had sex!" it's not like falling down and skinning your knee ... it takes some, even the most basic, level of planning. I do agree that men, and women, don't always cheat because their home life suffers in some way, some do it just because the opportunity presents itself. but when you are married you are taking on the feelings of someone else. in the same way a parent considers their children in their decisions, so should a spouse.

ChristineB -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/14/2008 8:57:46 PM)
I was with you until you said "give us guys a break". For breaking a promise, betraying a loyalty and hurting someone you love? Sorry, you lost me right there. Everyone is entitled I suppose to mistakes but please don't ask for forgiveness in such a non chalant, you are entitled way..it's insulting and frankly ridiculous. At the very least take ownsership of what you did, whether cloudy or not. Own it.

ArticlePost -> RE: Why Women Stay With Cheating Husbands (9/15/2008 5:00:29 AM)
IshcabooThanks for being honest, I love my husband and I think I know that the guys he was with helped that along in some way, but like he said no one had a gun to his head, he was wrong, we are trying to make this work, I just can't stop thinking about what she was like and why he did it? Does he still think about it? Is he really that sorry ,I think so, but it will take a lot of time for me to get back any trust at all. I can't sleep and can't think I feel consumed by this and I did nothing wrong. It hurts me so much because I never thought he would do that ever. Not him, but now I don't trust anyone, I feel so used. Thanks for honesty though. It doesn't stop the hurt and shame I feel.Anna Anna

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>