RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (Full Version)

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fiery -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (6/28/2010 7:29:02 PM)

Parents, you may be interested in this free course on communicating with your teen that I posted about.

http://forums.familylobby.com/fb.asp?m=23886



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (7/3/2010 12:55:05 AM)

I know that my 14 year old is going through a phase, I went through it myself. I remember writing an essay in school when I was 12 saying that my mother was my best friend. I really loved her with all of my heart. She made me feel secure and comfortable and loved. Then my next memory was from when I was 13. I actually pictured taking a knife and stabbing her, I hated her so much. I hated her, everything about her. Her breath, her face, her voice, everything she did, every life choice she made. Up until last year, I still harbored resentment for some of the things we went through. I blamed her for things that were completely rediculous, like tricking my father, her husband of 1 year, into having me. All I can say now is I'm sorry every day Mom and I love you, because I see the hate in my daughter's eyes and it breaks my heart.

Lani



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (11/8/2010 1:12:35 PM)

My daughter is just short of 13, and making me crazy. It is just she and I, her father left 3 years ago and almost never sees her. She and I were always so close, but that's long gone. Ihad to smile when I read about how other people's teen girls are only nice when they get their way or are being bought something. Yep, that sums it up! I have no family support anymore (all either died or moved away) and it is just she and I, fighing like two cats. I am drowning and really do not know what to do. My temptation is to spend as litle time with her as I can get aay with but I doubt that would help in the long run. My doctor cannot even control my blood pressure anymore.

Janie



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (11/17/2010 6:43:30 PM)

I never in a million years thought my sweet little girl would turn to so mean. She is 15 and I she has to older brothers. Her brothers never game me any headaches, but this one is making my hair turn grey. She is such a hand full. I just don't know what to do anymore. And her father is just as upset about all this.

Wanda



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (11/22/2010 8:46:56 PM)

I wonder the same thing. Where did she go? Who is this person that replaced my cute, happy, kind daughter? My only consolation is hoping she too will have that "I'm ssoooo sorry" moment. I just hope it's before she turns 30.

Jason



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (12/4/2010 7:32:56 PM)

Ive had enough my little angel is a gobby self obsessed pain in the **** sorry to be so blunt. Shes 16 next week and oh i dont know what to do as i also have a three year old little boy who is starting to talk and act like his big sister i have explained in no uncertain terms if she doesnt stop then she will have to go and live with her dad as im a lone parent through no fault of my own she seems hell bent on carrying on making my life a mysery im really trying to be patient with her but she just doesnt get how hard things are for me ive no family or support from anyone we used to be really close then all of a sudden shes sneaky she lies about stuff then moans to all her freinds that im a psyco **** and she makes fun of me because ive just been told im bipolar i love her so much i just wish i knew where i stood with her but im starting to think that im never going to get her back from whstever planet shes on!

sarah


Edited for language.



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (12/7/2010 11:40:26 AM)

This article and the posts make me feel like I'm not alone. My sweet daughter is gone too. In her place is a defiant, rude, disrespectful, drug-taking, selfish seventeen year old girl. I want my girl back. I don't like her replacement at all. She lies, then gets angry when we catch her. She basically told me that all we do for her is buy her clothes-which she said she doesn't care about anymore, and give her food money. I think she left out the part about taking care of her dog when she's gone, washing her clothes, and buying a lot more than clothes/food. Yesterday she said "**** you" to her father and me because we called her on a lie. It was a stupid lie-about something that wasn't that important, but still a lie. "Little" lies turn into big lies, I pointed out. I know there is a natural separation at this age, however, wow, I didn't know she could be so nasty to us. I have decided that I am going to let her do her own thing. If she gets pregnant, then she will have to take care of her child herself. If she gets arrested for drugs, I will not bail her out. She calls me a psycho too. I am crazed because of her lies. I look at her and never know if she's telling the truth. She's sneaky and horrible. I know somewhere deep down I still love her, but for now, it's hard to feel that way about her.

Nancy



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (1/11/2011 1:52:07 PM)

I am sat on my bed crying whilst reading these posts and article, after my 13 yr old has asked me again if she can go and live somewhere else because she hates me and her dad, where has my beautiful only child gone and when will the willful, rude, arrogant always right nightmare leave and let me have her back, thank god that I can see it is just her age, hormones etc and eventually she will turn back into a normal well adjusted person and not just a teenager

Wendy



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (1/28/2011 10:01:33 AM)

iv got 2 of thses weird oppinianated teenage girls and most of the time they are night mares.iv just picked one up from school and she started on me as soon as she got in the car,shes moody nasty laughs in my face calls me ect ect.my 8yr old who is a lovely girl is picking all her nasty habits up as well.its awful they start as soon as they get out of school i dread them comming home i feel like leaving myself.girls arghhhhhhhhh.

janine



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (2/25/2011 12:51:21 AM)

I find myself saying the most terrible things ,screaming ,and disliking my own sweet angel????This is a nightmare we are living,right?I want to wake up and have my sweetie cuddle with me and smile like i was the most important person to her...her favorite person,while i play with her gorgeous locks of curls and kiss her sweet skin....I ask her to sit with me..too busy,she doesnt even barely let me hug her once a week!Her room looks like a cyclone went through it,yet she wont let me clean it or help her do anything.She doesnt want to hear any stories of what i was like at her age and sympathetic tales of an understanding mother.She is procrastinating,lazy,messy,forgetful,selfish,focused on the newest electronics she should have,almost 16,yet not hanging out or dating,and thankfully no drugs or alcohol either,but while she still is home on the weekends i cant enjoy her.she wont watch anything with me,fights with her sister and Dad,wont do ant chores,and basically wishes we would all leave.I think she thinks its her house and we are just bothering her by being there.I am so so sad.After all the time ,money ,effort for dance,gymnastic,horseback,science,language classes etc,she has no desire to really do much but sit and get fat at the TV or computer.My dreams of her being the person she seemed to be,an elegant tasteful young lady with hard work ethics and inspiration are gone,and theres this door slamming,biotch,slacker in her place .God help me get through this ,and help my 11 year old not become this too!My hubby and i cant take it.Does anyone know where we can go for help..like a teenager parent anonomous?

distraught



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (2/28/2011 4:12:27 PM)

I know what you guys are going through. My daughter is turning 18 however I have the opposite problem. My daughter tells me almost nothing about her life. She was always an introverted child. She would get sad a lot and when I tried to talk to her she said she didn't know why she was crying or sad. Now I get one word answers and half truths, She tells me what she thinks I want to hear. My ex (her father) was rarely around and now she actually runs to his girlfriend to confide in. This angers me so (but I never show it). I am a fair and logical person and have no idea why she chooses to treat me in this manner. My ex also calls me to tell me that he suspects our daughter is not where she tells me she is when she leaves my house. He stirs the pot and when I confront her or catch her lying (she has been caught lying about where she was) my ex flips it and makes me the bad person. My daughter has been in therapy for almost two years but, I worry that she thinks it's ok to create a false persona and to tell people lies. I think she is manipulative and secretive for a reason. I don't know what to do. She will be going to college in the fall (thank god) but, I don't know if I can trust her after all the lies and deciet. I worry that she will not have the proper skills to succeed in life because her father tries to undermine my authority when I discipline her. He is not a good person at all. he is all about material things and making the outside look good while he is a horrible controlling man. I even asked he why she would choose to spend so much time around him if she knows how he is. I am so annoyed, hurt, betrayed and scared all at once.

MissJazmine



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (3/11/2011 1:52:31 PM)

Wow...It really helps to know other mom's are going through the same thing that I am!My daughter is just short of thirteen and is defiant, disrespectful, crabby, distant...I feel like I am her emotional punching bag. I really can't remember the last time she said anything nice to me. I am on Zoloft because it makes me so depressed. I don't want to give up on her but worry, like the post before, that she won't have the skills necessary to make it in life. I read all the books and she and I go to counseling but am finding that it really doesn't help. There really should be a support group for this!

Cat



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (3/11/2011 3:47:30 PM)

Hey everyone,Such a relief to hear these stories. It's so hard to believe, the babies we care for, feed, clothe and love so deeply can transform into scary strangers we try to teach them about.There appear to be brainwashed by enemies who are trying to break our spirit and destroy us. I think aliens infiltrate their being and they are testing us to see what are limits are. I say we band together. Let's rally them up, tell them we're taking them to a Justin Bieber concert, then ship them off to the poorest country with their iphone, computer and a toothbrush for a month.

Jimmy



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (3/26/2011 6:30:47 AM)

Boy do I know what you are going through. My daughter is nearly 14 now and the last year has been Hell! It doesn't look like it's going to get any better either. Mine keeps her room looking as close to the city dump as possible and I have to remind her to change her underwear after two or three days of not seeing them in the wash. I am a single dad as her mother ran for the hills after getting a little taste of things to come. That was over three years ago now. I must admit that I have thought of doing the same from time to time. Some of the replies to this have said that it is not unusual. Well I disagree. All through my teenage years I helped around the house and even learned to cook to take a little of the burden off my mother. So this is not usual - this is a modern trend bought about by the so-called experts who told us that we should talk to our children and not punish them when they do something wrong. What a load of codswallop! Now we have a Society where kids the age of 12 run around in packs assaulting the elderly. I am done with this New Style of Parenting! It's time to bring back the tried and true before it's too late. Check your Bible - SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD. These long talks do nothing, but a smack will make them jump and they will respect you for it as well. So out with the New and in with the Old!

Keith



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (4/17/2011 6:41:34 PM)

I love all the comments but most of all Jimmy you made me laugh so much, how true and what a fantastic idea.

charlie



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (4/26/2011 10:45:19 PM)

I have two daughter 15 & 18. About two years ago they just pick up and moved in with the mother. I have always tried to be there for them and I was until the night I came home to find a note telling me they would not be living with me.I should have gone right over to her house and made them come back and looking back I wish thats what I had done. Now they don't call come over go to church with me its like I don't exist. I did not see them for the first three months of this year So what now. I only live about a 1/2 a mile for there mother. I keep trying to have a relationship but its not working.

Don



fiery -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (4/27/2011 7:09:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArticlePost

I have two daughter 15 & 18. About two years ago they just pick up and moved in with the mother. I have always tried to be there for them and I was until the night I came home to find a note telling me they would not be living with me.I should have gone right over to her house and made them come back and looking back I wish thats what I had done. Now they don't call come over go to church with me its like I don't exist. I did not see them for the first three months of this year So what now. I only live about a 1/2 a mile for there mother. I keep trying to have a relationship but its not working.

Don


They are old enough to come over, email or call you themselves now, Don. Why are they not doing so do you think? You must have an idea.



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (6/12/2011 11:34:02 AM)

Dear Distraught - I relate totally. My 14 year old daughter hates me. It is truly painful. My 12 year old daughter is still Daddy's girl to a great extent but she's growing up quickly.I was gratified to see you mention your hubby. Hold on to him and each other tight, your marriage is precious. My wife quit on ours a couple years ago, and even earlier when I think back, and she plays the role of buddy to our girls. I am truly worried about how my older daughter will treat future suitors/boyfriends/husbands, our marriage is a dreadful example of what a relationship should be. I stick around because I love my daughters, and I still love my wife in spite of it all, and I figure on the whole its better that I'm here than away. But the sad thing is how dysfunctional it all is and that we are repeating the pattern of my wife's parent's marriage.

Pete



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (7/1/2011 3:54:21 AM)

I realize it will be a long time before my daughter knows what it's like to raise a child. In the end even with all her hissy fits and her language she'll remember her mommy was here for her during the hardest times of her life. She'll remember the home she finally has with me. That's what makes being a mother different from being a parent.

Maggie



ArticlePost -> RE: The Joys of Raising a Teenage Daughter (7/13/2011 9:24:41 AM)

I have a 14 yr old daughter and a 12 yr old son their father and i divorced when she was 3 yrs old and he was 1 yr old i remarried 1 year ago to a wonderful man who has a 14 yr old son, my son has adjusted wonderfully my daughter on the other hand has not she has a meltdown if my husband and i shut the bedroom door at night she beats on the door yells for me when i try to talk with her about it she just says mom i had you all to myself for 10 years and now i have to share you and i dont wont to, ive explained to her 500 million times that i love her more than anything and no one will every take her and her brothers place but that i am married and i do have to spend some time with him and just because our bedroom door is shut it doesnt mean im shutting her out of my life or anythinng else this is really putting a strain on my marriage and i dont know what to do someone please help i need some guidence here.

Chloe



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