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Raising step grandson - 10/9/2009 9:49:25 AM   
ChristineB

 

Posts: 3732
Joined: 12/7/2007
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Well, here's one for the forum help board.  I think most of you know how my boyfriend and I are raising his grandson? Anyways, we are and the little guy will be 4 in a couple weeks.  We have had him since he was two.  His mother was initially incarcerated but has been out for a year now, clean and sober and living in a shelter.

She has made less than no effort to work, but after 8 months of doing nothign did find a 15 hr per week job.  She has managed to go weeks and sometimes months without seeing her son, but always seems to be able to call for a ride etc.  She is constantly on the pity pot and feels the worls owes her something.

I have done my best to maintain the peace although I do point out her flaws to my boyfriend, often.  Maybe too often.  Because I have been under the weather and my bf worked nights for a fair for 3 weeks I expcted her help, but did not get it.  It has not been another month, or longer, that she has seen him, and it sickens me, literally.

It finally came to blows the other night and I called her and UNLOADED!  She yelled back and said she's basically doing a great job and I don't see the big picture.  I ended up yelling and hanging up on her.

My relationship with my boyfriend is great but his daughter is a constant stress and source of anger that is going to kill me and no doubt pull us apart.

I want so badly let go of my anger towards her and be at peace with the family I do have. My anger has caused health issues that are now irreversible.  Help?
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RE: Raising step grandson - 10/9/2009 7:55:23 PM   
fiery


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Joined: 11/4/2007
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The main thing I want to know first is do you consider her capable of looking after the little guy properly full time and what's the legal standpoint at the moment with regards to custody.

(in reply to ChristineB)
  Post #: 2
RE: Raising step grandson - 10/12/2009 7:51:38 AM   
ChristineB

 

Posts: 3732
Joined: 12/7/2007
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NO!  She will most likley NEVER be a full time parent. Ever. She watches him sometimes, very rarely for a couple of hours but that is her max.  Custody is split 50-50 between John (my boyfriend) and his ex wife.  His ex used to take him every other weekend but she called this weekend to say she can't do that anymore, indefinitely.

(in reply to fiery)
  Post #: 3
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