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Take your pick...would you want - 6/20/2009 6:57:45 PM
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fiery
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Money, fame, or happiness? Which one would you pick and why.
Does it have to be either/or or could you combine two or even three? Maybe you feel you don't want any of them, but something else. :D
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 6/20/2009 8:32:40 PM
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Thelma
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Happiness of course! 
If you can't be happy, money and fame mean absolutely nothing.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 6/20/2009 10:28:43 PM
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dianerene
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I dont want fame, I couldnt deal with the lack of privacy. I would like enough money to keep me comfortable because struggling would defintely make happiness more difficult ... but happiness to me is most important.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 6/27/2009 1:59:02 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChristineB
I'm with you guys, happiness is number one but money is a close number two. I know I'd be a lot happier if I had a teensey bit more money!
Ah, but how much would be enough, that's the question. We can spend our lives saying I'll be happy when such and such a thing happens, or we can choose to be happy with what we have today and hope more comes our way. Look at poor old Michael Jackson and all the money he earned in his lifetime and he still wasn't a happy soul.
I'm trying to be happy with what I have and enjoy each day for what it is, for having my loved ones around me and having a roof over my head. Who's with me?
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 6/29/2009 12:03:38 PM
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ChristineB
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Hmmm, I don't know. Would Michael have been happy without all the glitz, glamour, travel, movie start status and papparazzi? I think some people may never be happy...I worry that I will never be happy.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 6/29/2009 12:59:14 PM
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dianerene
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I think MJ had an issue with himself. He couldn't find happiness within, therefore nothing outside would have ever made a difference. I think true happiness has to begin within and then we can have a better perspective of what we need on the outside. if we are content with ourselves, then money, fame and other things mean less.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/1/2009 11:37:37 AM
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ChristineB
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So true...so very, very true.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/2/2009 9:33:23 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dianerene
I think MJ had an issue with himself. He couldn't find happiness within, therefore nothing outside would have ever made a difference. I think true happiness has to begin within and then we can have a better perspective of what we need on the outside. if we are content with ourselves, then money, fame and other things mean less.
Absolutely. I think happiness is largely a choice. You can be miserable no matter what and spend your life saying "I'll be happy when..". That's totally pointless. You don't know how long you have left.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/3/2009 8:16:05 AM
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ChristineB
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But how do you choose to be happy? I would love to....
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/3/2009 12:00:26 PM
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fiery
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You just do it. Every time you feel something negative coming up, push it away and focus consciously on something positive. For example, I could complain about how much housework I have piling up and what a pain it is to get it all done on top of my work.
Or I could accept that's just part of having a home, lower my expectations of how perfect I want my house to be so I don't put unnecessary pressure on myself and instead be grateful I have a roof over my head and money to pay for it when so many don't. That's me choosing to be happy instead of unhappy.
It's not easy. And the hardest part is recognizing when you get in the repetitive mode of saying the same old negative things over and over to yourself. "I'll never get a good job. I can't shift this weight. I look terrible. I'll always be poor. " etc etc... well, if that's what you think, you're right.
Nothing changes unless you make a conscious effort to change how you think and feel instead of sliding into familiar patterns. I do it myself, get stuck in a rut. Because it's easier to stay the same than change. But at other times I do try change things and feel so much better even just for making the effort and knowing I'm doing something instead of just complaining, no matter how tiny a step I take towards it.
< Message edited by fiery -- 7/3/2009 12:01:15 PM >
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/3/2009 12:03:28 PM
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fiery
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Another point. Small actions make big differences.
Don't make things huge tasks in your mind or you'll never do them. If you feel you'd be happier to get rid of clutter, don't aim to get up 4 hours earlier and clear out an entire garage. Go for ten minutes and one cardboard box worth of junk a day. Take one small step towards where you want to be. Choose to do this, don't see it as a chore.
The general consensus is it takes 21 days to form a habit. If you do something daily like getting up ten minutes earlier for that period, you'll find it easy to keep doing it.
Tell yourself it's only for 3 weeks you need to try it and you're not making a lifetime commitment. Then when the time's up, see where you stand and if you want to keep on going. Some people take another week or two, others don't.
Small steps are the key. Once you're happy in one area of your life, look for a small way to start tackling another for 3 weeks and so on and so on. It's simple but it ain't easy. :)
You can read more on habit forming here: http://www.thequiethour.org/resources/health/habits.php
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/4/2009 9:08:37 PM
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dianerene
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I agree, Kay, happiness is very much a choice ... and there are some days where this choice is harder to come by then others.
For me, June was a HUGE test on my happiness and my control over my own emotions. I think I mentioned here before that I am bi-polar ??? anyhow, I can typically feel an episode as it takes over, and more often than not I am powerless over it. most often it takes a matter of a day or two before I feel completely lost in it, but I could not let it happen this time, I really did not have the time for wallowing in my sadness ... no other way to explain it, just could not afford the time.
with each new confrontation, I felt the tug - the comfortable feeling of wanting to sit around and feel like crap all by myself, but there were points where I felt I was the one who had to be the strongest ... others depended on my being level headed and rational. remember the phrase "fake it til you make it"? well, it's kinda how I started out each day. I got up in the morning looking for the silver lining of the day, and then I took it and shared it with the people that needed it as much as I. that alone helped more than I can even begin to describe. the rest just took over.
I know it won't always work this way, but it helped me make it through the month. I even had to make some pretty huge sacrifices (for me) and was able to deal with the guilt and see ultimately the choices were the right ones.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/5/2009 8:06:24 PM
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ChristineB
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Diane I totally feel your pain! Geesh, I feel like I could have written that. I have been a huge emotional mess since about Mother's day, no idea why, just been really struggling. I'll try though, like you said, one tiny step at a time....
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/5/2009 8:30:08 PM
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dianerene
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I'm so sorry, Christine! have you had your hormone levels checked?
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/8/2009 10:08:21 AM
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ChristineB
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I had my yearly lady appt a few months ago and told them how I was feeling and they checked me out pretty thoroughly, but didn't find anything. I feel run over by life lately....very weird but it is comforting to hear lots of others are feeling the same weirdness.
Not that I wish it on anyone but it's good to know I'm not alone. I thought once the summer came I could shake it but I don't. I was thinking of surfing tomorrow so maybe that will help.
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/9/2009 11:47:22 AM
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dianerene
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maybe it will - getting back into something you enjoy could be the thing that pulls you out of your funk. I hope it works, for you, Christine. I know how the pull of a funk can just weigh on you until it seems to hard to work your way out of it. ((HUGS))
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/10/2009 12:40:37 PM
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fiery
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I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better, diane. I wish you'd talk to me when you feel like that, I really do. I know I have times I struggle to keep the depression at bay and it takes every ounce of energy I have not to just succumb to the familiar like you say. Christine, I think the surfing would be good for you. :)
This last month or so has been tough for me too because my two sisters plus families are visiting my cousin in CA right now. They didn't even ask about coming to see me and know I couldn't afford to make the trip to CA. This has cut me to the bone. I know it would have been expensive for them to do both and my cousin has a gorgeous enormous home and is close to San Fran, whereas I'm out in the country where the kids would be bored but still...I can't help feeling very hurt. Not that we keep in touch much and I only hear what's going on via mum or a Christmas card apart from calls on the kids' birthdays. Hubby thinks I'm unrealistic to expect them to go all the way there and have to come here too but I'm finding it hard just being overlooked like that. It makes me feel like I'm nothing to them. But I'll get over it.
So yeah, must be a full moon or something out there affecting us all! :)
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/10/2009 12:52:20 PM
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ChristineB
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Gee whiz, I guess so! I swear it's something ebcause so many people I know are in a funk. I'm sure it'll pass, just wish it would be sooner than later.
(((((all around hugs))))))
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RE: Take your pick...would you want - 7/10/2009 1:55:58 PM
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dianerene
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oh wow, kay! I'm so sorry, I know how deeply that can hurt, even when you *know it may not have been affordable for them.
I know the state of the economy has may people in turmoil. for us, the idea that we cannot take a family vacation has dampened the mood this summer. hubby is taking the oldest to the bahamas for her senior trip, and it just won't leave us with enough money to travel as a family. we have to be so much more aware of where our money is going.
it all just stinks! lol
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