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To move or not to move? - 6/4/2009 3:30:24 PM
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Bremom
Posts: 2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Status: offline
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A little history…I moved from my hometown of 40 years to live with my husband 2 hours away. I left all my family and children. My husband has lived here in the new place for 7 years and had no children or family here except his father. All my life my family has always been about family. We were all very involved with each other and saw each other every weekend. My sibling’s kids and mine grew up so close together that they could all be sisters and brothers. My husband’s family is spread out all over the USA and they never stay in touch with each other (blows my mind).
Anyway, the past 3 years have been very eventful as in we got custody of his son who is 15 and that has been a big change for me because my kids are grown. I never see my family. I have noticed that in the last 3 years, I have been very depressed, I have lost a lot of weight and I am terribly unhappy. I did a lot of soul searching and realized that it is because I am away from my family too much. I want to move closer to my grand kids and my mother. I do not work because of medical reasons so I get very lonely here.
I have tried volunteering and other things to keep busy but nothing is working. I approached my husband about moving. I asked him if we could move (which is only 1 hour away). He is adamant about not moving. His reasons are because he doesn’t want his son to have to change schools. His son will adapt I am sure. My reasons I believe are more important. I have no life. I want to be around my grand kids and help more with my mother.
I am so miserable. I feel that he could make the move and he is refusing. He wouldn’t even have to change his job. It would actually be 15 minutes closer to his job. He has nothing holding him here except his father who is a truck driver and may be here 1 day a month.
My husband made some promises to me that he never kept. He promised me when I moved here that it would only be for 2 years. It has been seven. He promised me he would never drive a truck and he did until his son moved here. I have made many sacrifices for him and I feel that he could do this. I am miserable and I don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong. We have a very loving relationship and get along very well. But I have lost all interest in life, my looks, sex. When I go visit my family I am so happy. I would think that he would want me happy. I would be a much better person for it and hence easier to live with.
I am 50 years old and feel like my life is over already. If I move without him I will be so heart broken as this man is the love of my life. If I stay here, I feel my life is over.
My mother says I should move and if he is really in love with me, he will make the move.
Can anyone maybe help me with what to do?
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