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What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 4/24/2009 10:27:39 PM
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fiery
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What do you think? And when I say marriage I'm including long term relationships in there too like living together.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 4/27/2009 12:47:48 PM
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dianerene
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I can't really give an objective answer because I was a parent before I was a wife, so I have never had to work on a marriage without parenting as well.
but, I can say that co-parenting is pretty demanding. when I was the only parent for my daughter, decisions were easy. now I am considering the way that my husband will react to decisions I make for our children and often we both make compromises in the best interest of the kids.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/4/2009 12:35:27 PM
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Donna_Anderson
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I think Parenting is way tougher. I met my husband AFTER my three kids. My baby was 4 at the time. Now that they are all grown and it is just my hubby and I, there is nothing to it. No real stress at all.  Kids are very stressful on a relationship... but thought it all - I would have to say parenting... 
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/5/2009 12:23:29 PM
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ChristineB
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I say parenting for sure, by far!
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/14/2009 9:06:09 PM
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Halle
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I guess marriage is more tough than raising a kids. True if you raised the kid alone you you can decide at once what to do without considering a partners approval. Marriage from being a single I decide everything, but now that i am marriage it is becoming the root of argument, because I cannot just decide without consulting him and if he doesn't like it, and i insist, ugly argument will follow.
< Message edited by Halle -- 5/14/2009 9:08:31 PM >
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/17/2009 2:12:10 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Donna_Anderson
I think Parenting is way tougher. I met my husband AFTER my three kids. My baby was 4 at the time. Now that they are all grown and it is just my hubby and I, there is nothing to it. No real stress at all. Kids are very stressful on a relationship... but thought it all - I would have to say parenting...
I think so too, Donna. There's also all the pressures they put on your time as well as your nerves! But I'd not have it any other way. :)
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/17/2009 2:18:23 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Halle
I guess marriage is more tough than raising a kids. True if you raised the kid alone you you can decide at once what to do without considering a partners approval. Marriage from being a single I decide everything, but now that i am marriage it is becoming the root of argument, because I cannot just decide without consulting him and if he doesn't like it, and i insist, ugly argument will follow.
Hi Halle, welcome to Family Lobby! How long are you married if I may ask? I think it takes a while to find the common ground you can both agree on. No matter how long you dated, marriage is a whole different ball game. It can be hard work to find out where either of you are willing to give and take and where you're not. If it makes you feel any better, every couple goes through those stages. Some things I think don't really need to be joint decisions though, unless they're major ones.
Feel free to share some more of what's happening. You'll get a friendly ear here, Halle. Glad to have you join in!
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/27/2009 9:51:20 AM
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Thelma
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That is a tough question because for me, marriage and parenting go hand in hand. I've been married for 22 years and we've got 3 kids. I was a SAHM for all but the last 3 years so I was the one that did most of the child rearing so there really wasn't much arguing about discipline or other child issues. Most of our marital arguments were over money (...a lack of). As you get older, you argue less. Both parenting and marriage take a lot of work, a lot of effort and a lot of compromise.
I can only imagine "blended" families would be much more complicated.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/27/2009 10:09:42 AM
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Steve
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Marriage was very easy until children came into the picture. I love my children to death, but I think my wife and I had less time for each other. We focused on the children and lost quality time. Plus, less time for us to get away where I can spend time by myself. I cannot do the things I used to.
The stress tends to build up and we have silly arguments.
But at the end of the day, I can turn and look and my wife and kids while thinking to myself, it is all worth it. I would not want it any other way. I love my family and the joy they have brought to my life.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 5/28/2009 8:45:48 PM
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fiery
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Less time to yourself and as a couple comes with the territory of parenthood, that's for sure, Steve. I never appreciated just how much it does until I'd had my son. People always said your life is turned upside down when you have kids and I thought, yeah well, my kids will fit in with MY life, not vice versa.
HA!!!! How naive was I!!!  What a hoot that is!! I know now why my friends that had kids laughed when I said that. :) But like you, I wouldn't have it any other way. My regret looking back was not ever making the time for us as a couple only and time to be by ourselves too. Building it into a schedule as a regular thing like you would if it was the kids' soccer practice night would have been a good thing to do. Hindsight's always a great thing. :)
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/2/2009 4:32:28 PM
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boopop
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Parenting is the hardest thing too me. With just being married if things are too tuff you can walk away with a child you are there for the long haul and it adds stress to your life and you never think you have done all you could do. When the child does not do right or the grades are not what they should be I think we put the burden on ourselves then compund stress is added. So by far parenting is the hardest.
LaVerne
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/3/2009 5:09:22 PM
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Latonya
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You know what...I would say that both are equally demanding, but the thing is that you'll always be a parent. You may not always be involved in a marriage. Plus I think that marriage has a lot more variables than can influence its outcome than parenting.
With parenting you have someone's entire life in your hands. You have a direct impact on how the child’s life can pan out along with their future decisions.
Yeah...I'm sure now...Parenting is definitely more difficult.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/4/2009 12:45:17 PM
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Thelma
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Well said Latonya. I agree.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/6/2009 6:29:35 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: boopop
Parenting is the hardest thing too me. With just being married if things are too tuff you can walk away with a child you are there for the long haul and it adds stress to your life and you never think you have done all you could do. When the child does not do right or the grades are not what they should be I think we put the burden on ourselves then compund stress is added. So by far parenting is the hardest.
LaVerne
Hi LaVerne, nice to see you joining in! :) Good point. I think no matter what we do for our kids, we can always look back and think of something else we could have/should have done. But we just do what we think best at the time and if it doesn't work out perfectly, then we rethink it for the next time. You'd go crazy if you beat yourself up over every misjudgment you make, especially if it's your first child. Nobody's born knowing how to be a parent and we all have to learn. There's no point in adding to the stress by feeling guilty of what's already history. Onwards and upwards.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/9/2009 12:49:32 PM
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Thelma
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That's so true Fiery. We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect. I wish I'd done a million things different in every aspect of my life but that's all part of the wild ride God has put us on. If it weren't for all the mistakes, we'd never learn anything.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 6/10/2009 7:00:07 PM
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fiery
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Thelma
That's so true Fiery. We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect. I wish I'd done a million things different in every aspect of my life but that's all part of the wild ride God has put us on. If it weren't for all the mistakes, we'd never learn anything.
Yep, and I truly believe that's why we're here, for the life lessons. Heck, it would be boring if we knew everything and did it all perfectly first time every time. :)
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 11/16/2009 11:48:10 PM
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RobertEarlNobong
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You got all a nice point of view about the topic but for my own point of view marriage is tougher you can be the best parent in the world if you and your partner love and understand each other and everything will just perfectly follow. Make sure your marriage will turn out to be fine choose the best partner you can ever had.
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RE: What's tougher: marriage or parenting? - 11/18/2009 9:01:59 AM
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ChristineB
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I think it's all hard! Lol. In order to parent correctly and properly you would have to take care of your marriage but in order to do that, you must parent together. I say it's 50/50.
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