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What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Husband! - 8/11/2010 3:59:50 PM
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ArticlePost
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We assume that once a marriage is over it is over for all adults concerned; husband, wife, in-laws. Unless there are children involved, most divorcees feel that there is no earthly reason to still see their ex on a continuing basis. Outside of running into each other occasionally, you basically neve
What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Husband!
http://articles.familylobby.com/556-What-To-Do-When-Your-Parents-Still-Love-Your-Ex-Husband!.htm
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 8/11/2010 3:59:50 PM
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ArticlePost
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I met my ex husband at 15 and divorced at 40 so we spent a great deal of time together. My parents know the reason I'm divorced and they know all the things he did. I love him and always will so do they we just can't be married.
Careless
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 7/23/2011 5:32:54 PM
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ArticlePost
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I will no longer socialize or visit my parents because of situation as this. My parents have a ver close relationship with my ex - and it has cost them a relationship with their daughter (me) and their true son-in-law (my wonderful husband). My ex did and said some terrible things to me during our separation and pending divorce - my parents close relationship and loyality to him is both disrespectful and disgusting to me as well as my current husband. I've to both my parents as well as my ex and none see a problem - other than of course, that's it MY problem. Really sad and speaks volume about them. It's not that I expect them to never talk to the ex, it's simply the close involvment - church together, family gathering, errands, visiting, giving gifts, asking for help, going to lunch together - WAY TOO CLOSE - but that's the way THEY want it. As far as I'm concerned, they've chose which relationship/s are and are not important. Obviously it's not me and my husband!
High Cost - hope it;s worth it
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 7/23/2011 9:23:55 PM
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fiery
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Hi High Cost, welcome to the Family Lobby community. Wow, that's a tough situation and if I were in your shoes I would have done the same thing. It's sad but what else can you do? How can they not see how much that hurts you?? Awful.
My parents still talk to my ex and my ex mother in law when they bump into them and they'll say stuff like "Saw him in town today and he was saying..." and I say "STOP! Not INTERESTED!". I've got to be that tough to halt them in their tracks. He played them when we split up and they still can't see it.
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 12/28/2011 3:09:20 AM
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ArticlePost
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My wife had a very psychologically abusive ex- husband, he beat his older daughters. He never touched my wife, but constantly berated her house keeping, her state of mind, her family, he despised them. they were a close family in the way of get togethers etc, even though he was a manipulative sort of man, he never presented as such in front of her family. They liked him. however, when my wife began to reveal the true him to her mother and sister, over the years, they began a journey of encouraging her to leave him. My wife left the city where she lived with her ex husband and moved to the city where her sister and mother lived, her husband was meant to sell his business and mover there with them. After several months he hadn't sold what was a very saleable business. my wife has 4 children at the time in 1999 they were: 16, 14, 8,7. the three eldest were girls the youngest a boy. after several months all the children had settled in to the new life and were happy their father was not there, they in fact hoped he remained where he was.After nearly 12 months is where I stepped in.I knew nothing about the whole scenario; I met my current wife and fell in love with her very quickly and she with me. Her family accepted me immediately. the two older girls were wary, but were ok. The oldest girl was always very guarded in her comments, not interested in my life, not respectful to my seniority in wisdom or experience and not interested in any input I had on any subject no matter how much it was of assistance.It got worse. My wifes ex husband is a master manipulator, adept at picking up on peoples weaknesses, foibles,cracks in their personalities, or any opportunity to take a front foot. The oldest daughter is an absolute chip off the old block and can turn perceptions or opinions in her favour without ever having to explain herself or expose a situation or person for their weakness, they are truly master artisans.The oldest daughter has worked on my wifes Sister and mother and father for a number of years, to the point where they have begun to see that her father was in fact a good man and my wife was the " Abusive master manipulator", they began inviting her ex husband to gatherings , he would ring them on birthdays, Christmas, sen cards etc etc etc, all of wjhich he never did before the split, but they began to perceive that he did.The thrust of it is this. He is now invited to all family functions and he flies in and so is the oldest daughter. My wife is now accused of being sick in the head for " trying to prevent" the children from seeing their father and a variety of other things, none of which are remotely truthful, she has always said good things to the kids about him, we've paid for the kids to visit him regularly, we have even paid for him to come to our city to see the kids. We encourage it.......But he has ingratiated himself into my wifes families life so much that they cannot tell him he is not welcome, because of the hard yards her oldest daughter has put in over the years.We cannot work out what or why things have turned out the way they have, but the have invited him to stay at Christmas and he and the oldest daughter say things like, " why dont you come and spend time with our family...your family"...It is so weird it is almost unfathomable. I havent touched the sides of the really strange things that have happened or she has been accused of. I want no part of it and my wife is on the outside of her own family. Her father and mother are divorced and both have been remarried once twice or three times ( who knows ) the mother a good Catholic, the father an atheist., they both think my wife is sick, because they believe her ex is still their son in law. Dispite them liking me, I want nothing to do with them because I cant stand this, it has sheared the two youngest ones psychologically, the third oldest now loves me and finds the actions of her mums family totally disturbing, even though it is "Her " father that is involved, sh wishes he moved on years ago...and none of them can see the game the oldest sister has played on them all. except the second oldest who finds the eldest actions repugnant.
Weird , totally freaking weird
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 2/19/2012 12:30:59 PM
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ArticlePost
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Once you get married you have a family. You can surround yourself with people you love. You compromise for the people you love and they MUST compromise for your love. If an ex is not welcome then you have no obligation to attend events where he is present and should create your own family events to build happy memories for the future. Your under no obligation to visit parents who are uncompromising.
Real World
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RE: What To Do When Your Parents Still Love Your Ex-Hus... - 5/2/2012 9:07:44 PM
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ArticlePost
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Wow.. When I first googled this topic I was not expecting to find anything because after all it's not normal for an ex to be intertwined with his ex-laws after a divorce in which there are no children, right?? Yeah one would think so. I try to follow that saying where you have no regrets and you learn from your mistakes but in this case my one true regret is ever getting involved with a family friend. the most absolute horrible thing ever. We had no children but eight years post divorce he still comes over and helps decorate for Christmas.. How pathetic! I finally came to the realization that he has nothing going for him because on major holidays he is at home accepting food from my family. If that were me, I wouldn't pick up the phone at all. He truly is a pathetic human being and this has made me set boundaries with my own family. Some may think that the onus lies with either my family or him but I say it's a two way street. It's one thing to continue a relationship with the family but another for him to be so intertwined with my family. Despite me saying this to him he made it a point to say he would go to family events if he were invited. To top it off my sister wanted to know how I would feel if he were to be the god father to her baby. are you effin kidding me? I smile through it all but deep down it's changed things for me. I now live for myself and if they want him there then I don't show up. It's their loss and he's a pathetic loser who has no life of his own... I echo High Cost's sentiment. I hope in the end it was worth it all. What makes me laugh is how no one remember all the volatile fights we had every weekend.
Michelle
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